It's Monday...again...

Man, the weekends go by WAY too quickly.  I am soooooo tired this morning.  If I could just sleep for 2 more hours, that would be AmAzInG!!! 

So I didn't get everything set to start carb cycling yesterday, but this week will give me the chance to finalize a meal plan and shop!!  Lean meats and lots of veggies!!  That Diet Bet with Chris and Heidi Powell is up to $23,500 in the pot!  I don't want to be the person who gives up their money because they didn't try.  Join me in losing 4% in 4 weeks by clicking HERE!!!!   I'm gonna have to suck it up and step on a scale this week just to guage where I'm at.  I'm assuming around 255 -- so losing just over 10 lbs would be my 4%. Piece of ca......carrot ;) 

We had a great time at the Queen + Adam Lambert concert over the weekend.  And then yesterday we did some walking at Greenfield Village.  I just need to get my eating in check and add exercise...any exercise to the mix.  

So even though I'm not starting my carb cycling this week, I will start with some promises to myself.  This week's promises:

• I won't drink any regular pop.  (yes, I probably should say no to diet too -  but that will come in a following week....baby steps..)
• I will put make up on every day and make take some pride in my appearance.  (too often I don't care what I look like going to work - and it does affect my mood and feelings about myself)
• I will focus on my water intake and make sure I'm getting at least 120 oz a day.

It's a start.  I'm not going to overload things with a bazillion promises at once. That would just be setting myself up to fail.  These are small attainable goals which I should be able to succeed at no problem.  I'll keep adding goals and challenging myself.  

--Katie

H2O

I've fallen off the water train....me... the girl who used to drink 100s of ounces a day.  Craziness. I need to get back.  I think I might pick up one of those big gulp cups or a pitcher to have at work and maybe add lemons to it too or something.

I signed up for this DietBet thing.  You pay $30 and are challenged to 4% of your body weight in 4 weeks.  Chris and Heidi Powell should be sharing tips and encouragment along the way, but you don't have to follow anything specific to lose the weight.  Meet or beat the goal and you split the pot with the other winners.  At the very least you get your money back!!!  It starts on July 22nd (weigh ins start on the 20th) so sign up with me!!! The more the merrier!! What do we have to lose - besides some lbs.  For me, 4% will likely be around 10 lbs. or so.  You know you want to..... http://diet.bt/pFjmgJ  

Right now there's over $12,800 in the pot with 429 players signed up.  It's going from July 22 - Aug 18th.

The mental hurdle I have to overcome with joining challenges like this, is that I feel like I need to keep eating crap until it starts so I give myself the best chance of winning.  Uh, Katie, you weigh over 250 lbs.  Even if you start now and lose some, you have plennnnnnnnnnnnnnnty more to lose in 4 weeks. LOL 

I've been watching more of those shows - the Extreme Weight Loss - and it is inspiring.  The only thing that gets me, is that it seems like everyone has a really sad story that got them to the point they're at.  They went through a bad divorce....or their mom died in front of them... or their husband had PTSD and killed himself....  It makes me feel bad - not bad for myself, I'm blessed, but moreso guilty that I really really shouldn't be where I am.  I don't have any crazy reason like that.  I don't know what my reason is.  I do know that I tend to be scared of failing and disappointing people so when I get close to a success, I sabatoge myself. I know it doesn't make sense, but that's what I do.  Obviously.  I mean, I was at 240.5 or whatever and I freaked out, gave up so to speak, and could get to the 239.9 that I was soooo close to.

I don't get it. It's weird. I'm still trying to lay out the carb cycling plan for myself.  I'm just getting stuck because I want someone to give me a set meal plan.  Not just give me some recipes and say go at it. LOL  I want a M-F tell me everything I'm going to eat - exactly what exercises I'm going to do - etc.  I am using the exercises laid out in the sample pages from Chris' book.  So I'll keep working on this and try to finish it up soon so that i can get started.  I want to start on a Sunday so if not this Sunday, I'll start the Sunday before the contest begins.  

I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend <3

--Katie

I read a book!

Haha - something to be proud of I guess! I need to do more reading. But anyhow, I read Chris Powell's Choose More, Lose More for Life.

I first heard about Chris from a May Mom who posted about the show "Extreme Weight Loss" -- I watched an episode and that kinda stuff always gets me pumped. Then, I heard he had a book. For $2.99 from ibooks, I couldn't pass it up. The premise is carb cycling -- alternating between low and high carb days. It keeps your metabolism going.

What Chris suggests is one of 4 different plans - whatever best suits your lifestyle/needs....
1) Easy cycle: Low Carb Day, High Carb Day with Reward Meal, Low Carb Day, High Carb with Reward Meal, Low Carb, High Carb with Reward Meal, High Carb with Reward Meal....
2) Classic Cycle: Low Carb, High Carb, Low Carb, High Carb, Low Carb, High Carb, Reward Day......
3) Turbo Cycle: Low Carb, Low Carb, High Carb, Low Carb, Low Carb, High Carb, Reward Day.......
4) Fit Cycle: High Carb, High Carb, Low Carb, High Carb, High Carb, Low Carb, Reward Day

You're going to eat within 30 minutes of waking and then every 3 hours until you've had 5 meals. Sounds doable!! Breakfast will be a Protein & a carb for both low and high days. Morning snack varies depending on whether you're on a low or high carb day (low is protein & fat, high is protein & carb) same with lunch, afternoon snack, and dinner. Low carb days, women should be eating 1200 cals, and high carb days 1,500 cals. Don't forget your veggies too! So, it's nice you're not shocking your body with few calories.

So what I'm going to try to do is create structure for me. I know it's all about making promises to myself, and being accountable. I need to lay out the whats and whens. From the 9 min Missions to what I'll eat for each meal to the other exercises. If I lay it out, and dedicate myself to it, I can will do it!

Has anyone ever done carb cycling before? I'm curious as to what you thought! Let me know the good, the bad, the ugly.... hahaha

If I can get my ducks in a row, I want to start Sunday. Right now I'm leaning towards the Turbo Cycle. If I lay it out, I can have discipline. This would put my reward day on Saturday which would be best since that's typically when we've got the most plans.

<3 Katie

Down 2 lbs

A good start!!!  Sticking with my HL today.  Had my morning shake, a couple thin slices of cheese and a trail mix bar --- water water water - and a diet coke and my tea!  

I'm feeling in control and much better.  I just want to keep seeing the lbs fall back off!!  It is amazing how the crap food makes you feel crappy.  

I started logging in MFP again yesterday.  Yesterday I did go over - not all the best choices - but I was working on getting rid of some stuff from the freezer.  Looking really good today. Tomorrow will be a BBQ for dinner with family -- looking forward to that! And we'll have another one on Saturday.  I don't think there's anything else that will really be a struggle for me though.  Like I said, I'm feeling good.  :)

A friend mentioned the show Extreme Weight Loss so I'm checking it out in hopes that it keeps that fire burning in me :) Need to stay focused and stay in that mindset!!  I still need to see that 235.....that will be huge.  22 lbs.. ugh.  Why do I do this to myself? lol  I was sooooo close.  I was 5 lbs away.. lol  

--Katie

OMG...and NOT a good omg....

So yeah, I'm totally like "Wow, I did so much walking and ate fairly well in Mackinac, I'll totally weigh myself this morning..."  Guess I forgot all the bad I did the rest of the month. I am wayyyyyy up.  Like almost to 260 again...WHY!!!!!?? Jk *sigh*...I know why...I had gotten back into the candy, snacks, vending machine binges, along with regular pop for most of the month. So yeah, I totally "earned" what I saw.

I should've taken a picture, but omg, the bathroom at our condo in Mackinac was hell....pure hell.  Not that it was in bad shape, it was great....but mirrors EVERYWHERE.  Mirror next to you as you're sitting on the toilet, mirror behind you....mirrors across from you around the jacuzzi tub.....mirrors mirrors mirrors.....I saw myself in more angles than I would've ever imagined.  It made me realize one thing though...my husband really loves me.  I never really realize how big I really am.  But seeing allllllllllllllll of me like that was eye opening.  

So on that note, I'm doing Herbalife right now.  Shake for breakfast, shake for lunch and no clue about dinner yet.  Getting back on the water train too.  I was too close to 239 to be where I am now...BUT I am here... and it's the choices I made.  So I have to do myself a favor and make some better ones.  Gotta get serious again.  I should've just jumped back into my VLCD today, but I himmed and hawed because of the 4th of July and game night this weekend.  But I think today through Saturday I'll do Herbalife and maybe jump to VLCD on Sunday.  Kinda ease back into that 600 cals/day. LOL  I'm gonna get back to the 240's in no time and then move forward.  Gonna stop drinking my calories. Between regular pop and booze...gotta just cut.it.out.  Who needs that stuff when you got good ole H2O?!! I mean, that's totally the best ;) 

Anywho - I'm totally sore today.  I've been totally sore the past few days.  So much walking, hills, hiking, etc.  It was really good exercise but putting on those nearly 20 lbs again hurt me bad.  Holy crap. All I could keep thinking was *gasp* I'm so *gasp* out of *gasp* shape *siiiiigh*  But I hiked up to the highest part of the island with Steve and Mary even though I would've rather (hypothetically) rested and took a nap.  It was gorgeous!!

Definitely worth the 5 mile round trip walk. :)  I really need to find a good pair of shoes for walking/hiking/etc.  My ankles hurt.  Part of that is from yesterday though.  I faced some fears and did ziplining.  I was soooo nervous and really wanted some anxiety meds as I was walking the path to get there. lol    It was fun, but ROUGH landings - and I know a good portion of that was due to my weight.  When I landed on the second zip line my helmet actually flew off my head.  Here's a couple pics -- the last one is Steve coming in on the first zip line.

So it was a great trip. Great time with family.  And just the kick in the pants I needed.  No more screwing myself over.  No more letting myself fall apart.  No more excuses.  Yes, I'm human...yes, I'll make mistakes....yes, that's OKAY! But it's not okay to use that as a crutch to say I can keep intentionally making bad choices.  I deserve better.  My family deserves better.  This sweet little girl deserves better :-D

--Katie

A post to bring us into the weekend...

So I think I'm to the point where I realize that I have to stop putting so many expectations on myself.  When I get excited for something I jump into it and want it to happen right now...which is..eh, okay....but drastic changes are hard to stick with.  VLCD is great to help you drop the lbs fast.....and if you can commit to it, you will lose....it's obvious. If you're only consuming 600 cals a day, you will lose weight.  Is it healthy? Eh...probably not.  Is being obese healthy?...no, it's not.  So that's where you get your "which is the worse evil"  -- doing VLCD had me excited. I was pumped. I was ready to do it. But I kept putting so many expectations on myself. Deadlines for pounds and sizes.  Prizes...punishments...  The diet didn't help me mentally at all.  We are busy people.  Our weekends fill up so fast and we're typically always out and about. Whether on the go or with friends and family, I got to the point where I didn't want to sacrifice -- and no, it's not all about the food, but sometimes you just wanna have a wine cooler and chill. Is it necessary? No.  But I don't want to feel like I have to overindulge in anything when I have a slip - or a free day - or whatever you want to call it.  I still want to live life. 

When I put those expectations on myself, I tend to slip.  And as soon as I slip, I fall....hard.  That's my reality right now. I haven't weighed myself since June 1st and I don't intend to any time soon.  I've been eating and drinking poorly. Like really bad.  

I'm not going to commit to one thing or another right now.  I still have herbalife powder and I still have VLCD items.  I plan to use them up, just want to do it at a time where I can be consistent and get the most out of them.  I'm going to really try to not put deadlines on my health.  Allyson from 96.3 was talking about this the other day.  She did better when she stopped - and so what if she only lost a lb. She appreciated that lb. being gone.  We don't gain 100 lbs overnight.  We aren't going to lose it overnight either.  

I missed my deadline for cancelling Planet Fitness this month.  So I think I'm gonna try to get back into going. (!!!!) At least a couple days a week.  Steve has access to the gym at his work now and is going to work out during the week too - so we can do this together.  Health is such an important thing and I really need to prioritize that.  Fad diets, gimmicks, etc just aid in setting me up for failure.  

As nice as shortcuts are, it's better to take the tried and true scenic route and enjoy the journey.  It'll be worth it.

--Katie--

Motivation...where did you go????

Hmph!!! So I'm still kinda lost. I've been eating poorly and drinking regular pop too often too.  I weighed on June 1st and was still at 245 (mind you, that was after puking  after excessive drinking) but I was still okay with that.  BUT.... I feel fatter...I am fatter (and I don't mean anything bad by that...just honest..I see that my stomach is flabbier)...I'm more tired...and I just don't feel as good.

Saturday is a BBQ for my bro's graduation, dad's retirement, and celebrating my dad and stepmom moving to TN.  I'm doing Herbalife today.  I think I'm going to stick with that for a little while at least. (don't know how much I really have left....probably 2 weeks or so)  And then I still have my VLCD stuff.  I'm going to try to make the most of using the stuff I still have, while hopefully doing some good for my body.  

Claire and I both had great birthdays.  We had a big ole party at our house for Claire....a little after party for my bday, and then on my actual bday, Steve and I went to the casino.  Didn't win, but played The Walking Dead machine and had so much fun. Can't wait for that show to come back on --- oooh speaking of shows, Orange is the New Black is gonna be on Netflix SOON!!! Can't wait.  Gonna get sucked back into the TV :) 

Gosh - I was soooo close to 239 and I choked.  I don't know why I do that to myself.  But - it is in the past now, and I just need to move forward. Blogging about it helps.  I'm feeling more motivated as I type. :) Just threw away the 8 or so hershey kisses that were in my desk.  Logged in MFP. Gonna do this.  I did cancel my appt. with the "weight loss coach" for next week though since I haven't been doing VLCD or anything that would show any progress. I'll reschedule it later.  I gotta find the resistance band she gave me though and start doing those exercises.  Steve's gonna be starting his new job soon and will be using the gym at his work, so that'll be good motivation too.  Time to be done with the junk train that I had been on, and get back to good FOR GOOD! 

Things still going on this month that I'll need to be conscious of:

**BBQ
**May Mom get together???
**Dinner to celebrate my sister's 21st bday!!
**Grad Party
**Date Night
**Mackinac Vaca!! 

DANG!  That is a lot. BUT - July is looking pretty open.  LOL  I've gotta get back to wearing my Fitbit and make myself get 10K steps a day!  Okay, I'm gonna try to be more diligent about bugging you guys with my excessive blog posts :) 

<3 Katie <3