Holy Salt.....

Wow... so I knew I'd be up today, but I wanted to make sure I weighed jusssssst to make sure I got back on track today.  Up..up..up..... 5.8!!! Holy crap.  I wasn't even as bad as I would've been had I not been making these changes I've been making.  But I think salt is the main culprit.  That and not drinking enough water -- the challenge I usually face on the weekends.  ::sigh::

For whatever reason, it was an emotional weekend for me.  I don't know why, but it was.  On Saturday we managed to get Cardio Flow in before heading to our friend's house for game night.... It broke me down again.  I think it makes me feel weak...incapable...I hate it.  I broke down with an "I can't do it" and tried to hold back the tears as I pushed through it.  Of course when you're trying not to cry, it affects your workout.  It wasn't pretty.  It wasn't amazing. I felt defeated.  One of these days I will do one of those stupid Cardio Flow workouts and feel empowered after.  But as of now, I'm just dreading this Saturday before we head to Chicago.  It's not how I want to start my trip.  But oh well.  

People give me credit for being real and honest about my struggles.  I don't know how else to be.  I can't just keep everything to myself because, well, I'm pretty sure I'd explode. I know that other people go through the same thing (at least I tell myself that), so if I can make them see that they're not alone, I'm good with that.  I'm just in a bit of a funky place I think.  I'm happy we're working out...that I've seen the scale go down...that I feel overall better when I'm eating healthier and moving...I still miss "comfort food", chilling and watching a show with my hubby before bed, not being totally exhausted and sore/weak feeling before bed... We're 3 weeks in now... I know it'll get better, but just getting over whatever mental hurdle this is right now is slightly tough. 

Don't get me wrong... I'm still proud of myself.. we're still going to work out tonight.. I'll still do the stupid Cardio Flow this weekend... We're in this game and we're gonna complete it.  This weekend will be another off track weekend though.  We're going to Chicago and that is involving food. I know we'll be walking, but we'll have Claire's little legs that will determine how much.  So next Monday will be much like today -- loading up on water... kicking it in high gear.  

A big shout out to the people who keep me going... Steve, Kelly, Taylor (and all the folks in that group)... Thank you... Steve, especially you -- without you doing this side by side with me... without you spewing the motivational speak... without you making me cry, telling me I'm beautiful, strong, etc..... I would've quit.  You are the best partner in life I could ask for.  Just the perfect other half for me.

I suppose I do need to get some work down now... Just wanted to update you guys...

Hope everyone had a good weekend!  Thank you all - seriously - for the support.

xoxo
Katie

Today is Day 12...and Friday!

Good morning!! I hope everyone is doing great.  Things are going well on this end.  

Wednesday night I went to drumming and had a blast. It's amazing how that can totally change my mood.  I love it.  I went in cranky, and came out feeling good.  Followed that up with the Cardio Core Beachbody workout.  I do feel myself getting stronger every day, and I do see little physical changes too.  So just gotta keep going!!! Luckily I've got great support.  With BeachBody, yesterday was day 11 -- AAA.  Worked it all.  Still can't use the sliders, but as I strengthen my core, I'm sure I'll get there.  

I had ordered new resistance loops.  Got some 12 inch ones and it makes a difference!  I'll still have to play around with them to work on them not rolling, but these are definitely better for me!!  So I'm human, a girl here brought in this homemade "sopapilla cheesecake bars" -- I said no {for a minute} but then decided that I'd be better off having a small piece than dwelling on it and feeling deprived all day as everyone and their brother raves about it.  So I feel better. It was delicious and I will NOT let it spiral me out of control today.  We have game night tomorrow so it will be a little splurge.  I'll keep the rest of my day in check....get f'n Cardio Flow done early and I'll probably throw in some sort of workout on Sunday, just to help recoup.  

I can't wait to see some big changes.  I want cute clothes.  Preferably ones without a number and an X... lol  It is hard being patient, but I do know that I'm doing things the right way.  My fitness tracker has really come a long way. Before, I hardly ever completed all my rings.  Now, as long as I'm getting a workout in (another reason I'm thinking of doing one Sunday) I get them filled! 

I can't believe it's May already.  This year is flying by.  Soon it will be summer vacation.  This month will be so busy, but fun.  Before we know it, our vacation will be here too!! 111 days!! I am ready!! {okay, well my body may not be vacation ready...but my mind is!!} 

Hope everyone has a fantastic day.  

xoxo
Katie

It's a good sore..

Man oh man... I hurt!  But it's good!

Yesterday was Booty Day and I killed it!  3 reps of everything. It was hard. I was pouring sweat but it did feel good.  So, I'm a slave to the scale and I know I need to break that.  This morning I was up from Monday.  I'm sure it was probably residual from the popcorn I had over the weekend or something and not drinking enough water - but the scale is a hard habit to break.  I'm not going to take measurements until the end of Phase 1, but I know I'll still weigh.  In a way it's good because it does put you in check if you're straying from your plan; but if you're doing everything right and it's not going the right way, it's depressing. 

Don't worry, though, I'm not discouraged.  My soreness is an indicator that I am "doing great things." Sometimes all the motivational speak just irks me. haha

It's not like these are false.  And I used to be more positive.  I just need to regain that -- lose the negative vibes.  And maybe it's just that the people I hear saying them sound fake.  I dunno!  But I just need to regain the right energy and embrace these quotes and believe.   

Tonight I'll go to Cardio Drumming (YAY!) and then come home to do Cardio Core (boo...) LOL But it'll be good. I'm so proud of both Steve and myself for sticking with this.  I can't wait to see the results we have at the end of the program.  After this one, we'll have to find a new program to do together.  This is way easier than getting to the gym together.  I'm just not a gym girl either... I do "ok" once I'm there....but to convince myself to go... nah.  I would much rather build a home gym and be able to just do stuff like this.  Having some good equipment would be great too, I'd just rather do it at home.  

Welp, I think that's it for today.  Gonna work on staying more positive about all things today.  Those negative thoughts creep in and take over sometimes... and not just with diet or body image... but whatever starts it, it can snowball - and I'd prefer to think happy thoughts :D So I shall!

Have a great humpday!

xoxox

Katie

A full week down

And I've only cried a little...

Friday was leg day. We actually did really well. We had taken the girls out to see The Illusionists.  I feel like this was one of the few times we didn't eat out when we were going to an event - especially downtown.  We all ate ahead of time.  Of course getting there, you just smell all the amazing cinnamon almonds and whatnot, but Steve and I were good. We got the girls snacks and we just had water.  When we got home, we got them both in bed and then rocked it out!  

Saturday..... Saturday was just an emotional day for me... we all have those.. (At least that's what I tell myself...) hahaha  It wasn't anything in particular. I was just feeling drained a bit and just like anything could just set me off.  So it was a little rough at times.  I already wasn't looking forward to Cardio Flow [because cardio is the devil]...but knew it needed to be done.  I told Steve that we should just do it.  (This was mid-day)... This was the workout that broke me.  I was filled with "I can'ts" and tears did well up.  I felt knocked down.  This is the time that I normally would've just shut it off, called it a day and probably wouldn't have continued. Luckily as emotional as I was, I had Steve with me and I kept going.  I didn't get every rep in.  There was a move or two that I just didn't attempt.  My form probably wasn't amazing.  My arms and knees crack like crazy. But I kept moving for the most part.  I was glad to be done -- and then bummed that this will be every Saturday for the rest of the program. LOL  But, I know it will get better....it has to, right?!?! 

Saturday afternoon was my niece's bday party.  I prepped myself for this... here's how it went in my head:
     Okay, so I'm not going to have pizza.  I might have a piece of cake...but not if it's just a Kroger cake because I could have those any time.... But if it's a bakery cake, maybe I'll have a small piece.... **arrive at the party and see bakery box** Well, shit... okay... Oooh it's chocolate cake (frosting) - I can resist that. It's totally not my favorites. I'm just not a chocolate cake/chocolate frosting girl...  Perfect!  **texts Kelly - I'm not having pizza or cake!!**  Feeling good... Thennnnn, they cut it.. F it's not chocolate cake...it's strawberry or cherry! Damnit!!! One of my favorties (but with different frosting..)  Oh well..... I still passed on it. #WINNING

We got Chipotle for dinner and it was amazing.  I think that will be our "splurge" place.  It's so good and not all that bad for you.  

Yesterday we went to see Avengers: Infinity War.  It was really good.  I did have popcorn and a diet pop, but that was my breakfast and lunch...

Sooooooo...all in all, the weekend was good.  A bit draining emotionally, but it wasn't just one thing.  It wasn't the diet or exercise....well I guess cardio flow didn't help! LOL  But I'm ready for a new week. I'm feeling good.  Feeling proud of myself.  I meal prepped a ton yesterday...felt like I was on my feet all day long.  My biggest downfalls for the weekend were not drinking enough water and not being good about timed nutrition.  We'll just keep chugging along!!

Since it's been a full week, I'll share my progress:  11 lbs gone!  

And with that, I hope everyone has a great week.  Make the most of it!

xoxox
Katie

3 down - 77 to go!!

I can't lie and say I'm 100% doing this for my health.  I want to look good and to FEEL that I look good!  I want to not have to buy plus size clothes.  I guess whatever the motivation is, as long as it's getting done, that works!!  Win Win! Today is day 4 of the 80 Day obsession - it will be AAA -- abs, arms and ass!  Last night was cardio and it was not quite my favorite {to say the least}.  I still can't manage the sliders for most of the exercises and so I did modify a lot.  Sometimes I would just hold a plank for the exercises they were using them for.  I sweat a lot though.  

I am REALLY proud of myself though.  I feel weird saying that, and I know that I shouldn't, but this is the most I've exercised in a long time.  I haven't bitched or complained really at all.  I think maybe last week when we were doing the "Little Obsessed" stuff, there was a day when I really didn't want to do it - maybe sulked a little - but powered through.  So far this week, there hasn't been any of that.  Drink our pre-workout drink and get it done!  Just going to try to get it going a little earlier tonight. I'm beat this morning.  Tempted to take a nap on my lunch.

Today as soon as I walk in to work, everyone's talking about bagels, pastries and goodies that are in the conference room.  Normally they're right by our cubicles next to the coffee pot, so I'm glad they're not anywhere that I'm going to pass all day!  I had a sweet potato with pb and chia for breakfast -- sounds strange, but it's tasty and filling!  Just going to keep going... keep doing this... 

I have weighed myself... yes, I know.. HI, I'M KATIE AND I'M A SCALE ADDICT {when I'm making good choices}  I won't share my progress yet, but I am down and really happy about that.  Just want to keep moving in that direction.  I just have a feeling I will have great before and after pics when these 80 days are done.  Let me tell you - before pics were not pretty!! LOL 

So here's to Thursday.... c'mon weekend!

xoxo
Katie


 

On to Day 2!!

Yesterday was the official DAY 1 of the 80 Day Obsession program for us.  I didn't die! Whoohoo!

It was a great day.  I stuck to our meal plan - no candy, no snacks, no feeling deprived!  I busted my ass once I got home and got dinner going, lunch for today going and baked some sweet potatoes for breakfast this morning.  Yes - weird. But surprisingly good... Sweet Potato with peanut butter, chia and banana.  I dig it.  

Oh and btw, I'm having my yummy sweet potato over all these bagels that were brought in today.... F Bagels.  Jerks!  lol 

Yesterday's dinner was so good. Of course a second helping would've hit the spot, but this was the first time I've ever been happy with a whole wheat pasta dish.  It was this baked pasta dish -- whole grain penne, spinach, tomatoes, ricotta, parm and mozzarella... that's the gist of it!  Just very satisfying and good!  Portion control is key :) 

So after Claire went to bed, we got our workout in. The hour wasn't bad. It went a lot quicker than I thought it would have.  Did I hit every move? No. Every rep? No.  But I worked my ass off and tried.  I had to modify some, but not everything.  Steve and I both pushed through and burned and sweat!  I need some shoes for indoor workouts tho.  That'll be helpful!  This was last night.  I'm just going to keep going and going and see where I wind up on day 80.  So excited to see before and after pic comparisons then!!  

Today is BOOTY day!  Looking forward to it!  I'm sore, but it's a good sore.  121 days til VACATION.  Gonna have a good body....at least better than it is now.  

I hope everyone has an awesome Tuesday -- one day closer to Friday!! 

xoxox
Katie

Friday Eve!

Sore...sore...sore...

Yes, that's how I'm feeling.  My knees especially hurt, but everything else is that good kind of sore.  So last night, not only did I do the Day 3: A Little Obsessed workout, but before that I went to cardio drumming.  As soon as I walked in, I told Steve let's just get this over with before I sit down and really don't want to do it. So that's what we did.  I still don't know how I'm going to do the hour long workouts, but we'll get it done. I haven't gotten the hang of the bands, so I haven't been using them around my thighs for those moves.  I'm not sure if it's just because I'm bigger or what - but I can't get them on and flat, but I'm still doing the moves.  Now we just gotta get our meal plan in order and we'll be good!!!  

I'm excited to have that planned out.  I do much better when I don't have to think about what's for dinner or lunch.  I've got a spreadsheet ready to go and everything.  As long as I can get to bed at a decent time, I want to start getting up to do either yoga or meditate.  I need something like that in my life.  I've talked about it before, but haven't given that the green light yet.  I don't want to take on too many new things all at once, but I do think that this is important.  Sometimes I still feel the stress and anxiety creep up on me. I want to feel free from that!  I know it will make a difference.

So tonight we're going out to dinner with friends and then we'll work out when we get home and get Claire to bed.  Today I think is cardio -- BOO!!!! But 30 min. I can do this :) I hope everyone is having a great day.

xoxo

Katie