Just an update

 

Saw this and it stood out.  Loving yourself is the most important and probably one of the biggest challenges for most people -- including myself!  You would think it would be easy...knowing YOU are important...YOU should treat yourself well....YOU deserve.  

I often struggle because I put other people ahead of myself.  It's so much easier for me to take care of others.  But as they say, you can't pour from an empty cup.  During Covid, I've gained a hobby.  I started crocheting.  Finished a blanket so far and 2 more are in progress.  It's something relaxing and enjoyable for me.  We've also moved an elliptical upstairs and I'm trying to use that more.  The past 2 days I've used it and completed my exercise rings on my iWatch.  As comes with most of my posts after not posting for a while - I'm at my heaviest.  I can't continue this trend.  Covid definitely didn't help.  Eating more. Doing less. Drinking more.  

But no more excuses. The time is now :) Moving in the right direction.  

Taking control!!

xoxo 

Katie

Stressed backwards spells Desserts ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  So I'm not an overly political person - sometimes it feels like a blessing but sometimes I do wish I was more well-versed.  Those who know me, know that I don't like conflict at all.  Even still, the stress of this election, compounded with the stress of COVID, the state of our country -- it's got nearly everyone on edge.  For someone with anxiety, it's even more.  

  It seems like an excuse to say all this has led me to not be on track, but I do think it plays into it some.  Of course I have my own confidence issues and other things too that compound, but just the tensions and doom and gloom within the country right now do elevate stress levels and distract from being able to focus on bettering myself.  (The giant bowl of Halloween candy doesn't help either if I'm being honest -- probably time to move that downstairs LOL)

  I did enjoy making some soups the past couple days.  I made this butternut squash soup -- which wound up being a bit spicy.  Good for the metabolism right?? But it was so yummy.  I also made some homemade chicken noodle soup.  Makes me think of good times with my grandma and grandpa!  I'm going to have some of that today.  And hey, maybe I won't have any candy - that'd be a plus :)  

Just need to work on some healthier recipes and not grabbing food out or snacking on junk.  I've got cantaloupe cut up and ready to go today.  Still gotta figure out dinner, but I'll have the chicken noodle soup for lunch. 

I've got my bracelet on and ready for the day!  Not promising, but going to try to get myself to work out today.  I haven't weighed for a while....tomorrow is technically my weigh in day for WW, so I'll step on and see where I am.  Basically, I've just been giving my $12ish a month away for WW.  Gonna work on improving that.  Reminding myself that just because it's not tracked, doesn't mean it doesn't count and won't show up on the scale.  

We'll all see what happens with this election soon, but hopefully as official news is given, the stress level will deescalate and we'll start moving in the direction of peace.  Sorry this is starting out to be a crappy blog...It'll get better (hopefully) -- at least it's real [LOL] Not all rainbows and weight loss here!  

xoxo

Katie

So I'm a little slow lol

 But I am doing it now... Yesterday I got back to tracking and working out.  Short and sweet workouts so far, but it's something! I'm doing the Morning Meltdown 100 on BOD.  Arms and Core so far...I'm feeling it!  I've also been logging my food with WW.  So far so good!  Need to focus on more water these days!

Yesterday's dinner was tasty.  I wasn't sure about it before I made it - Sometimes you forget to cancel a HelloFresh delivery and you don't get to pick your meals...wound up with 3 vegetarian dishes.  This one didn't speak to me, but wound up being super yummy!  I only had half --- which was good after I logged it on the WW app. LOL Holy points..  but between cheese and couscous, I see why.  Super yummy though!!

Gonna stick with just a short and sweet update today.  Two workout pics as proof :) 

Tomorrow night we'll be visiting a supposedly haunted former asylum.  Not looking forward to all the stairs LOL but it's gonna be super interesting I feel!  I can't wait to get this weight off and not have to worry about being out of breath along with all the other hindrances this weight causes. Gotta get there!!

xoxo

Katie

Oh man - it's been 2 years?!

 

Holy smokes... so I slacked a bit I guess.... And while I'd love to tell you I've worked super hard and reached goal weight....well, I haven't. (shocker!!)  

Well I don't know where I was last time I blogged, but I can tell you I'm heavier and likely less healthy now. ::sigh:: I kept tossing around the idea of getting back on here, and today I'm taking the plunge. I'm not waiting for a Monday...or for Halloween to pass...or until all the bad stuff is out of the house -- I'm saying "Hey, remember me?" now.  If you haven't read my blogs before here's a summary...(which I'm sure I've gone over after my many breaks before - so sorry for the repeat - I'll try to keep it condensed)

• I've been overweight pretty much forever it seems
• I've tried almost all the "quick fixes" and not so quick fixes- Atkins, Keto, South Beach, Herbalife, Shakeology, WW, VLCD, Diet Bets, Nutrisystem, ItWorks...
• I rejoined WW online about 2 months ago and haven't really done anything with it... but I'm going to change that
• I've got a BeachBody on Demand Membership that I'm not using... but I'm going to change that too!
• I struggle with focusing on slow and steady wins the race.  My ultimate goal is so far away that I get discouraged often
• I have anxiety and let it get the best of me
• I self-sabotage and give up on myself a lot of the time
• Luckily I have an amazing partner in life who loves me for me and will help me get to where I want to be!! 

I have plenty of bad habits - as we all do - but it's time to prioritize my health and well-being.  Time to make some changes.  When taking the pics above, I thought about doing the frumpy, no-makeup, bad angle pic that's depressing and blah.  Instead, I straightened my hair, put some makeup on and took some pics I felt good about.  I'm going to make changes and it's going to be noticeable no matter what.  I have so many pics just from life and candid shots to make me not feel good about myself.

So I'm not keep on as I have to make dinner (Roast Turkey, Acorn Squash) but I'm going to try to commit to getting on here frequently. Of course I'll keep it real - as I always do.  You get the good, the bad and the dirty ugly truth --- and I'll try to limit falling off the face of the Earth.  I'm gonna try to diligently track on WW and get back to working out some!  

Thanks for reading --

xo Katie

Reset

Let’s reset —
Today my eating still isn’t on track, but I have a plan. I lost desire to do 80 Day Obsession this time around and really want to do something new... something that works better for my life - my schedule. I’m going to take a leap and start doing T25. It looks a bit intense as I flipped through some of the videos today, but Shaun T looks like he’ll be an amazing instructor. I know Steve enjoyed the program he did by Shaun previously! So I’m going to do it. 5 days a week. 25 min a day -  50 min on Fridays... but I feel it’s going to be upbeat enough for me to enjoy the struggle.

Nutrition is something else we really need to get back to. So today was/is no good like I said... Chinese leftovers and some chocolates at work. But I do have plans to make this healthy onion soup this week, as well as this spinach and penne pasta, and a couple other healthy dishes to prep soon. I want to get back to where we were - where we can just grab a container out of the fridge, knowing it’s a good choice.  I was going to do frozen pizza tomorrow for Halloween, but I'll probably just cook a meal still since it will just be the 3 of us and I'll have time. 

I’ve also re-joined WW - online only.  But I want to get back to tracking. By looking at the information WW has out there, and the 2B Mindset information out there, I should have no trouble coming up with good ideas and sticking to logging my food, staying in points and making progress.

I’m tired of looking and feeling how I do, but I need to put forth more effort again to make a change. I need to stop letting the excuses of life get in my way or hold me back. I do this to myself. So it’s time to make a change and get the scale moving back down again.  I don't have much to say right now other than this is my plan.  I'll set goals for myself and try to keep this place more updated.  


Must remember: 


xoxo
Katie

Hello Monday...

So another Monday.. another day to start the week off right...

Challenges for myself this week:

1. Cut out caffeine
2. Submit a progress weigh-in for my diet bet (annnnd actually make progress)
3. Log everything - the good, the bad and the ugly
4. Finish LIIFT 4 - we have 6 workouts left.  Who needs rest days?! 
5. Figure out my plan for tackling my anxiety

So, quite a few challenges for the week, but what the hell, I'm game. Cut out caffeine: Hmm..they say caffeine doesn't help with anxiety. Go figure..  Gonna try to skip the coffee this week - and pop.  It'll just be good all around.  Submit a progress weigh in -- that part is no big deal -- the challenge will be to actually have made progress.  I weighed myself yesterday morning and {holy shit} I was up.  Friday and Saturday --- annnnnd Sunday were bad eating days. UGH. I suck.  But, no sense dwelling on it.  Just gotta move forward.  It was a great weekend, otherwise!!! Friends on Friday night. Friends on Saturday night.  Just a lot of laughs.  Well-needed! 

Log everything: So whether I'm 100% on track, or if I not only fall off the wagon, but let it plummet off a cliff and crash into a million pieces... I want to track it.  I want to own it and be accountable.  So I've started that today with my delicious bagel and cream cheese that someone brought in.  (yeah...)  While we're at it, I'll log the last of my workouts.  Let's finish LIIFT4 this week.  6 workouts to go - 7 days in the week.  We've got this!  

My biggest challenge is my anxiety.  I found myself standing in the supplement aisles of Fresh Thyme for quite some time on Saturday.  I was/am (??) planning on switching meds for my anxiety, but have also been trying to research more natural ways to manage anxiety and panic.  Trying to figure all this out is not a calming process LOL  Just trying to decide whether to start a new med right away or if I should try some supplements to see if they help first.  I know I'm going to cut that caffeine this week too.  I'd also like to try to (as I keep saying) get up early and do either some meditation or yoga for 20 min or so.  Sooo what to do!! What to do!?  Feel free to text or PM me if you wanna talk anxiety remedies :D 

I hope you all have an amazing week!  I'll try to post more often!

xoxo

Katie

Let's be real..

Okay - time for some accountability!  

We've been back from vacation for a week, so I've gotta pull it together!!! Eating has been out of control.  Side note: Vacation was AH-MAZING!!!  We got away... I left my insecurities at home... we were in the pool all.the.time... relaxed... partied... it was great!  Definitely something I needed. Some good ole vitamin D!

So today there's been donuts and chips and salsa at work and I've failed... lol  Last night we had pizza. There's been pop in the house which I've had... Just really gotta get it together and refocus.  We're gonna work on catching up on our LIIFT4 workouts.  Wanna complete it all and finish that program.   Trying to decide what to do next.  Part of me wants to do 80 DO again because 1) I want to really complete it -- not miss a bunch of days and not get things made up.  2) I think you really can get awesome results from it.  BUT then there is the part of me that says Autumn annoys the F out of me... and 6 days a week at an hour a workout is a LOT.  

So I dunno..  I gotta look at the other programs that BeachBody offers too.  Anyone have a favorite?  Almost caught up at work.  That's the worst part of vacation....falling behind at work... LOL  But I'll get there when I get there.  Ready to start planning another vacation. haha!!! Getting home to be with my girl was the best though.  Missed her tons.  School is off to a good start.  Can't believe she's in second grade.  Time really goes fast...need to make the most of every minute. 

So we kinda had a meal plan for the week - but it wasn't solid.  This weekend I want to really have everything written out like I did for 80 DO so that I stick to it.  Just prepping as much as I can and having containers ready to go really helps.  I also want to start reading my book - "You are a Badass" - or continue reading it really... after that I want to read "Girl, Wash Your Face."  Anyone have any other suggestions??  Okay, that's all for now!  Have a great Friday-Eve!!!

xoxo
Katie

Week 3 - Day 2 --- LIIFT

Might look tired AF (because I am) - but got the 4:30ish workout in!!  Back and biceps today. I liked it!  Increased my weights and realized we really do need to get some heavier ones.  Pullovers I used the 20s on and feel for that I could increase a little.  Why are dumbbells so expensive?! LOL Don't get me wrong - I was still using the 10s and 12s on everything else - but still!!!!  

So my eating since the weekend has been out of control a little.  Too many treats that I love.  Awesome cake with amazing frosting...baklava...french fries.... ugh!!! Why does bad food taste soooo good?!  Anyone wanna be my chef and just make all my meals and send me on my merry way??? It would be much easier that way.  I AM tracking in MFP today though. I need to get back to doing that...no matter how ugly the day is.  Today is starting off great (yes...it's only 7 a.m...I realize this... just let me have my moment!!!!)

I had my Energize and Recover and am eating some melon as I'm typing this.  Hold me to logging.  If you're on MFP and we're not friends, add me kdw0603  I need to make some progress.  I need to be moving back in the right direction.  

My anxiety has been up a bit lately.  Not a fan of that. LOL  I'm sure getting my eating back in check will help with that too though.  I probably need to start watching the caffeine a bit too.  I know that can play it's part with anxiety.  All in all, eating better will just help me feel better again.  It's amazing how the crap eating really takes it's toll on your mind and body so quickly!  

For all my LIIFT4 friends and those just doing anything to better themselves...keep at it. Let's do this.  Have a great day. Love you guys!! 

xoxox
Katie

On to week 2!

After 2 rest days and some bad eating (yet again), I'm ready to take on week 2 of LIIFT4.  I pushed myself again today.  With it being a circuit workout, we did 4 exercises in a row (x3) and then another set.  And that's followed by burnout - which today was 30 seconds wide pushups; followed by 30 seconds of triceps pushups. Annnnd repeat that combo 2 more times. Holy arms. At the end I couldn't hold myself up any more.  It broke me. But it's all good.  We got to finish the day with core as usual.  Can't say that I didn't feel it. OMG.  But I still am loving LIIFT4 more than 80DO.  Of course it's a different kind of program, but I love weights.  

So definitely need to still reel in my eating on the weekends.  I have to force myself to order water instead of pop if we go out.  Most of the time I'm good with that.  The exception is at the movies....for whatever reason I feel like I NEED a pop if I'm seeing a movie at the theater.  Just gonna be one of those habits I have to try to break eventually. 

Steve made such an amazing dinner last night. Dry Aged Strips.  I stuffed myself because I couldn't leave any on my plate.  I had been craving a steak.  Total best husband ever award goes to him.  I went to dairy queen afterwards and got ice cream.  It was so good, but I felt so gross afterwards.  Just felt stuffed and bloated.  But if you are going to get a bizzard from dairy queen, I highly suggest the S'mores.  I'm in love with it - no matter if it makes me feel terrible or not! LOL  

So here's my proof that I got my workout in this morning -- a 4 a.m. wakeup, with Energize and LIIFT4!  Way to start the day!!

I clean up alright tho :)  

Hope you have a fantastic Monday.  Make it the best it can be!!! 

xoxo,

Katie

On to new things

So, I totally flaked out on 80DO at the end (well.. and before that, as you know)  Our first month was incredible.  Second was okay - missed some. But that last week we just couldn't really get it together.  Between work, home, just schedules...things just kind of went blahhh.  So I don't really feel like I completed it.  I also don't feel like I made much real progress.  But don't get me wrong. Totally proud of myself and Steve.  Like, we went from sitting on the couch to working out multiple times a week - intensely.  So yeah - we did that!  I just don't feel like I can say that I completed the program.  I'll have to give it another go if I want to do that!   The weekend was kind of another crap eating fest.  But today, we were up at 4 a.m. to get going with the day.

It was a fun weekend! So much fun and laughs with friends.  Game nights are always the highlight of my month. LOL  Just think - trivia, cats, friends, beer, taquitos and games..... can't go wrong!  Plus - a second place finish isn't to tabby....err...shabby.  Just a little cat pun ;) 

Today we started LIIFT4.  We're a week behind the people who started last week, but I'm ready for the change!  Holy cow my arms. LOL  Today was a 50/50 so half of the workout was strength and half was HIIT.  Ummm, yeah, that second part...not my favorite. BUT, I didn't die.  I'm really looking forward to this workout regimen.  4 days a week. There's no excuse NOT to do it.  Hopefully on our rest days, we can start incorporating getting a good walk in.  

I'm also going to start tracking again in MFP.  I think that will be a good move.  Started this morning with my Energize and Recovery.  It's gonna be a good day!  I feel it!  I may want to slip into a coma....but it's gonna be good!  So.sleepy.  

Have a great day!! 

xoxo
Katie

Sore is an understatement

I don't think I've ever been this sore.  And seriously, I don't feel like I should be -- I'm guessing LIIFT4 is gonna do it to me.  But I'm looking forward to it.  We only did one of the shorter B4 LIIFT4 workouts Sunday and have been doing the last of the 80 DO workouts but holy crap, I'm hurting. 

This morning (4 a.m.) we did the last of Cardio Flow.  We didn't have to build up to all the exercises, it was just doing them all straight through for a total of 10x. It sucked and I didn't hit every move, but we did it. And it really is eye opening to see how far I've come in 80 days.  I didn't cry - shocker. But I can do more. And that's like yesterday, no I'm still not great with the sliders, but I can move a little on them. It's not like when I started and I would just automatically collapse to the floor. I CAN do a little.  I am not where I should be - or where I'd like to be - as we near the end of these 80 days, BUT I'm proud of Steve and I.  Yes, I am proud of myself... Doesn't happen often, but this is the most consistent I've been and the most effort that I have put into fitness.... like ever...

Tonight we'll do the second B4 LIIFT4 - Legs.  Ooooh boy!  At least my arms can recover :) A lot of people started LIIFT4 yesterday, but we decided we'd finish out 80DO even though we missed a bit.  We wanted to complete it.  I don't really think I'll see much difference with before and afters, but I do know that I have improved, so I'm happy about that.  Only down about 9 lbs as it is now - but it's all good.  Was hoping to have an amazing body for vaca..... ooooh well.  Ultimately, just looking forward to getting away!  

I really feel like crap today.  My head is starting to feel a little better though - so hopefully I'll be good soon!  Hopefully everyone else is having a good day.  If not before, I'll check in after Saturday which is the last day of 80 DO!  

xoxo
Katie

I think this is the way to go..

So we were in bed by 11 and up at 4 a.m.  The alarm sucked because I didn't sleep well, but we got right up and headed downstairs.  Steve got our pre-workout drink ready...we chugged it and got to it.  Got our workout in.  So we're still behind on workouts, so I think it was Day 57 AAA that we did --but we did it!!  I was able to shower, get ready, put makeup on and make it to work.... EARLY.  Hey, that's an improvement from me constantly running a few minutes late. 

Had an HL shake on my way.  We got some prepping done yesterday, so our breakfasts and lunches were put together.  Dinner is going to be this Turkey Quinoa Taco Bake. I made it last night. Depending on time, I'll either warm it up in the oven or micro...  But it'll be yummy!  I got our meal plan done Friday and I think it looks good.  Our weekend brought a bunch of unhealthy stuff into the house, but I'm feeling really good right now so I think I'll be able to avoid it!  I've got a plan - and the working out early really sets up my day.  I'm going to get through these last 2 weeks with a bang :)

I did weigh myself this morning after working out -- I forgot to do it first thing - but I was down from a week ago.  So from the start of the 80 DO, I'm still down 11.5, so that's not bad.  I do hope that I'm able to see some better results.  I want to at least be where I was at the end of phase 1.  Actually now looking back at it, i'm only 3 lbs away from there.  I can do this.  I just want to feel better and stronger again.  Slipping up really kills you.  Missing those workouts.  It's amazing how quickly you can get back to feeling like crap. 

Not much else to report right now, but hope you all have a fantastic day!

xoxo
Katie

Making things happen!

Feelings today..

You look at yourself in the mirror and say "Well, shit... what happened?!"  For a minute there I was feeling better, looking better, and now....blah....I feel like I am back where I was.  Now I know that I'm not at my worst, but I am not where I *should* be.  I feel like slipping back into old habits has not helped my anxiety. I feel that creeping back up - feeling more anxious than I had - and I don't like it.  

I lost that excitement for working out - did I love it? No. - but I was (somewhat) eager to do (most of) it.  [We all know there's that one workout.....] I was excited to see how the little definition I could see in my stomach was showing or how my arms looked after a workout -- even if it meant that washing my hair was gonna be work to keep my arms up for shampooing.  Lately, I just don't want to do it.  I think that part of it is that we're nearing the 80 days, and I really don't feel like I've made progress.  (Our lack of consistent workouts lately hasn't helped, obviously)  This is the point I get to where I start thinking, well I need to just restart - start from the beginning again and do it right.  Or start something new all together.  Granted, I could do that.  But I think I really just need to do what I can to finish this 80 Day Obsession.  I may not get it all in - I have to accept that - but there is still 2 weeks to go.  I need to push to at least make those 2 weeks count.  

Our next program we will be doing is LIIFT4.  That technically starts on the 16th, but I'm going to be a week behind because I'm going to finish the 80 DO first.  That will at least keep us doing something before we go to Mexico.  We'll have a break during vacation but then will get back to it.  

So all in all, just sharing another keeping it real post from me.  Wishing I had a donut... Wishing I was binge watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix...but instead, I'll get some work done!

xoxo
Katie

Have a great weekend!

The Struggle is Part of the Story

I'm not sure what happened, but I am having a rough time...having trouble being motivated...pushing through and getting it done.  I want to look good - to feel good - but I am back to the point of struggling. I get to this point every time.  In the past, though, I haven't done so well beforehand.  Starting the 80 Day Obsession, Phase 1 was amazing. We did SO WELL! We got every workout in. I was doing drumming too.  I meal prepped and stuck to it!  Phase 2 started, and things started going south.  We missed a handful of workouts, I lost my ooomph... And now we're supposed to be well into Phase 3... today is Day 63 I believe.  Last week we only worked out twice.  We made up exercises from Phase 2 that we had missed.  I'll have to check my calendar at home, but I think we still have about 4 workouts from phase 2 to make up....plus the stuff from Phase 3 that we've missed (we have done some of it!).  It's just discouraging.  I think This is where I start feeling like a failure. 

And before you jump on me and tell me how amazing I am - I know that I've done well.  I know that I was still down 10 lbs from starting this yesterday when I weighed.  I know that "I can do hard things." But I should be further. I should be able to have more will-power to make good choices.  I'm just discouraged and disappointed in myself.  And it's okay.  

I just need to use this struggle to push me to get back on track and finish this with a bang.  

We've got 17 more days left of the 80 Day Obsession.  I need to take time today to read some motivational stories and look at some inspiring before and afters.  I need to remind myself that I can be that person.  So, I've got the meal plan in order for this week - just going to do my best to not slip up at work.  

I share my struggles because I know other people struggle too.  I don't want anyone to feel like they are the only one.   I share my insecurities to put things in perspective.  No, I do not find myself as attractive as other people I know...but I know that's the case for most people.  I fall. I get back up.  I cry but I wipe away the tears.  I lose my motivation, but I will fake it til I make it.  Do I want to work out tonight?  Nope.  Honestly I have no desire to... and I apologize to my husband who has to put up with me through that.  I do not feel like a strong person.  No matter how much someone tells me I am - I don't feel that inside.  I feel weak. I sense that tonight will be emotional.  But I will just have to power through it.  

I'll  keep you all posted as to how the week goes.  Gonna do my best to make it a great one.  

xoxo

Katie

Taking a quick sec to post

We are two for two with workouts this week, so that is something.  Last night was Cardio Flow - yes.... they moved it to Tuesdays... F that ish.  We wound up doing one of the 2 cardio flows from last phase that we had missed (6 reps instead of 8).  We're going to try to get all the workouts in before the 80 days is up.  Cardio Flow just really bothers me. I know it's a mental thing. But the damn workout doesn't change at all during the 80 days.  At least with the phases the exercises change. This one, they just add more reps of each exercise.  And inchworms are the worst first move for me.  I just hate that this workout actually angers me. Like, how stupid is that that a workout actually makes me mad?  I get pissed off before I even start.  And I wish I was one of those people who were like "Oh, I was so mad and didn't want to do it BUT then I did it and I felt amazing!!!!!!"  Umm... no.  I'm still glad I got it done, but still mad.  Oh well.  So Steve, sorry again for not being able to hide my feelings on that one!  

So we've gotten back to the exercise. That's good!  Now to get my eating in check.  I meal planned and did some prepping so that is good.  It's just the snacking.  There keeps being stuff at work that I can't seem to say no to.  I was so good to start off when we started this 80 DO, but now I'm here and it's longer days..and I'm... just... struggling...  I don't want to make my workouts a waste or a wash.  I just need to really find that focus again.  Tonight will be leg day, so I won't be angry at least. LOL  Just gotta keep myself in check and get there!!  

***A very happy birthday to my sister today!!  I can't believe she's 25 :( :( :( How the heck does that happen?!  I remember holding her as a baby... being annoyed that she always wanted to be around me (lol).... talking to her like she was my kid.... Love her so much!!  Mary, you're all grown up and doing great things!  Proud of you and everything you do...all that you've become.***

Friday will be fun.... interesting... and hopefully dry.  Claire and I will be spending the night inside the ZOO.  We'll be there with girl scouts and sleeping with the hippos!  I'm glad that it's looking like it won't be too hot - just hoping at least the thunderstorms hold off.  It's going to be fun though. We'll get to see some behind the scenes stuff...learn more about the animals and camp out.  I remember wanting to be a zoologist when I grew up. Claire talks about that too - and I can totally see her working with animals when she grows up.  

Well, I will leave things at that for now.  Just hoping I can get my butt back on track - all the way - and do hard things..  side note: seriously, when did I become the person I am who wants to smack the heck out of Autumn and all her motivational ramblings.... LOL I think to me she just sounds so fake to me.  I think if I actually believed her, it wouldn't be so bad, but now whenever someone says "You can do hard things" I think of her and it just screams BS.  But the program is good - so I'll keep at it. And I know the people in my life mean well and mean it when they say stuff like that, so I'll try to just start believing in myself a little.  

I need to get myself back to who I was 4 weeks ago.  I feel like a different person... and not in a good way.  I was so focused and and motivated.  Felt like I was being an inspirational person.  Now I just feel like the old Katie who wants to cuddle up on the couch with a bag of bugles, binge watch some netflix and take a nap!  <--- Okay, even focused/motivated Katie wanted to do that.  But right now I reaaaalllllllly want to. But this is real life.  This isn't a TV show where all you see is the good.  This is truth. There are highs and there are lows.  It's not all sweat and smiles.  Sometimes it's tears, cuss words and persistence.  It's about balance and finding what it takes to persevere.  If you're looking for motivation....let's do it together. Let's keep going. One step at a time.  I know that I not only stumble, but fall clear off the damn path sometimes.  But I keep getting back up.  Do I cry about it?  Yes... probably more than I should... but you just get back up and try again.  They say if Plan A doesn't work, there's 25 other letters in the alphabet to try...  I've probably still used up all of them and am on to Plan CC by now or something... But it's all good.  Here's to a good rest of the month.

xoxo

Katie

Well...

...when you miss 4 workouts, it shows!! Who would've thought. So the weekend didn't pan out like I had planned.  Sunday, I was out of commission with an awful headache all day.  Spent most of the day in bed.  But we jumped back into workouts last night.  I wish I could say it put me in an amazing mood - feeling on top of the world - but it didn't.  I was a cranky you know what... Got some sleep last night though and am feeling pretty good today.  

Yesterday was booty day - I'm sure I'll feel more of it tomorrow.  Tonight will be cardio.  I'll go to drumming tonight too. Hoping it's not hot as hell in there though.  I guess if nothing else, I'll sweat.  I can't believe it's already the 12th of June.  Seriously. Where did time go??  Summer vacation starts after this week for C.  I'll switch to working 4x10s.  I'm looking forward to it.  I'll have a day where we can go to the zoo or the village or just hang out together.  I also need to get down and tackle the basement.  Wish I could be doing that right now!!  

So I really don't have much to say but just wanted to follow up and let ya'll know that I failed the weekend, but picked it back up last night.  We'll probably try to squeeze in the 4 workouts we missed eventually - on Sundays or if we feel like doubling up, but we'll see.  As for now....today we'll get our cardio on.  

xoxo

Katie

What the #$!@

Ugh....I lost my mojo...my spark...my something!!! Someone find it!  Just for the past two days, but still... I need to snap out of it.  Tuesday I had cardio drumming.  Rocked it out. Came home, did a workout.  Down on the scale the next day....annnnnnd BOOM...gone.  Someone had brought in bakery donuts so I had that, and then the evening was just filled with snacking.  Steve was out so I went to bed early without doing a workout.  Was just feeling off and tired.  Yesterday I was out so didn't get a workout in.  So now I really need to catch up this weekend.  Need to get my eating back in check and get these workouts in.  So we've got Friday, Saturday and Sunday and I need to get 4 workouts in.  

This is where I can see it easily turning into the old ways.  Just slowly stop weighing, start eating anything and everything, stop exercising.....it's been a vicious circle for years. I do amazingly well for a minute (never this long) and then it all falls apart.  Normally this is where I disappear from blogging and "secretly" stuff my face with carbs and disappointment.  I need to remind myself, it's only been 2 days.  Do I want to workout?  NO!  Will I feel better after?  Eh, maybe? Part of me not wanting to workout these past couple days is that my knees and my back have been hurting.  So that is discouraging when it comes to thinking about jumping around, lunges, etc...  But not doing those things isn't going to help.  It's just something I need to do.

So I need to refocus. I needed to put it out there that by Monday I will have caught up on these 4 workouts. That means at least one day needs to be a double.  I think tonight I will make a chicken piccata dish.  I need to make sure I really get a good plan in place for next week.  I had a half-assed meal plan that I put together Monday for this week.  It really wasn't all that. I need to do it how I started off. Meals prepped and put in containers. Easy to grab and go. Plan every meal and every snack.  Really have everything written out.  

We've got just over 75 days until our 10 year anniversary trip to Mexico.  Will I be where I wanted to be body-wise? Nope!  But I can make sure that I am not where I was 2 months ago.  I can push myself further towards my goals.  I can keep going and working on building my confidence...that thing I constantly struggle with.  Confidence and anxiety -- if I could sort those two things out I would be golden!!! I'll get there...

So here's to working out tonight... let's get back on track...

Just keepin' it real for you guys..this is me!

xoxo 
Katie

What a great weekend!

This is the first Monday morning in a while that I haven't been all "UGHHHH Monday again..."  Just feeling good.  Friday at work I came in to my desk being decorated, cards, and cake.  <--- which, yes, I did eat. #noregrets For "milestones" they do all that typically. I tried telling one of the ladies that 35 isn't a milestone, but she said that here it is.  haha  It reminded me that I've been in this department for 5 years now.  When I first hired in over here and in the midst of "What the hell did I do?!" I turned 30.  Myself and another sweet -yet extremely spunky (yeah, we'll say that) lady, Adeline, both had milestones on the same day.  I turned 30 that year and she turned 70.  Sadly, she passed away a couple years ago now.  

Saturday was another great day.  I wound up going to Torrid and picking up a few new things.  I LOVE their clothes....not so much their prices, but I had their little haute cash things to use, so it worked out and I felt like I really got a great deal!  Oh, before that we did do Cardio Flow. F that. Hate it still.  Blahhhh.  Claire's had her bridging ceremony for girl scouts. She's now a Brownie.  After she crossed the bridge - I think a leader asked her to - or she did it on her own (could totally be) but she proceeds to tell a joke.  
          Why did the banana go to the doctor?   Because he wasn't peeling well. 
This girl!! I love her so much.  My night was amazing. Steve and I got to go out for a bit! Just a great time all around.    

Sunday, Steve really surprised me.  Not only did he get me the perfume I wanted, but he got me tickets to Luke Bryan in October!!  Soooo awesome.  And my sister-in-law was sweet enough to take me to brunch.  Tried a new place (to me) in Plymouth.  Park Place Gastro Pub.  Try it - at least for brunch. Holy shit.  I had Croissant French Toast and Andrea got Breakfast Poutine. OMG.  Soo soooo good.  We walked around Plymouth a bit and then wound up in Livonia where I got myself a gift.


...The tattoo I've been wanting for a few years now.  I've been drawing this on paper for so long now and was completely in love with it.  The sun is the letter C for Claire.  She truly is the sunshine in my life.  Her joy, innocence and kind heart lights up my world.  I am so proud of her already in life and I know - I just know - she is going to always be an amazing person and do truly amazing things.  She brings joy and just a sense of life to everyone she meets.  

We had a great dinner with my mom, step-dad and sister too.  Calories don't count on your birthday I hear, so I had probably the worst thing I could have.   Gnocchi Alfredo baked with cheese..... Yeah soooo....  Still no regrets.  

I could've skipped the workout last night like I wanted to.  I REALLY wanted to.  But there was no real good time to make it up this week, so I just said, lets just do it.  We did the Arms, Abs, and Ass workout.  I am glad we did.  I still really do not "enjoy" working out.  I know some people do.  I mean, I'm glad I do it, and I'm glad after I've done it.....but I'm not anywhere like "Yes!!! I get to work out now!!! Sweet!!!"  But it's something I need to do and you can really see some changes.  My stomach is still huge but there's definition forming there.  My butt is toning and lifting.  I still need to be better about eating especially on the weekends, but all in all, I'm still really proud of myself and Steve.  

Now one would think that after eating bread and gnocchi alfredo, etc.... I wouldn't step on the scale.  But I wanted to today.  Granted, I'm sure that this just hasn't caught up with me yet, but I was down 3/4 of a lb. since last Thursday!   Heck yeah I'll take it.  So I'm still right around 14.5 lbs down from the start of the 80 Day Obsession.  Today is day 39.... seriously, almost half way there!!! CRAZY!!!  Could I be losing weight more quickly?  Yes.  Could I be being more strict?  Yes.  But I want to do this right this time. I want to make sure I'm not depriving myself and setting myself up to fail.  Life happens.  We like food.  I'm not going to omit things all together.  I have learned that I just can't if I want to have lasting success.  So I will keep going.  

I'll stop rambling as this post has gotten long enough...

Thank you to everyone who made me feel so special.  I have the best family, friends, husband and daughter in the world.   

xoxox
Katie

Do you ever find that you reach a breaking point??  It's so hard for me to describe what happens when I get into my own head.  I should know by now that I cannot go into a cardio flow if I'm not 100% mentally there.  Yesterday morning we caught up on that missed workout from Saturday and I was already emotional.  I started off strong.  Did about 4 inch worms in a row, skipped one, did the last... felt good.. kept going.  But probably by the time we were just about done with the first round of all the exercises, I broke.  It just released all the emotions and I sobbed.  I think I'm just weird.  Like, I don't think that's normal...  But, it's me.  Anyhow, I tried to regain my composure....which only semi worked... but I did finish it.  

The weekend was great though -- Kelly & Laine came into town on Friday night!  That was amazing.  They are the best.  Our girls are pretty much the same person.  They are so damn cute together.  Saturday was great - we did our Tiny Lions party. Had so many adorable cats walking around and mingling during the party.  Tippy was the star of the show.  He was awesome!!

  

Sunday was our great big day at Great Lakes... Sealife, Legoland, and Rainforest.  Claire had an amazing time.  That made my day.  The girls all had so much fun.  

Yesterday, as I said before, we made up Cardio Flow.  Last night we also got in our regularly scheduled Booty Day.  So that was good.  Food consumption was not great by any means.  I had a few cupcakes, some cake, pasta salad, etc. over the weekend, but am committed to getting back at it today!  WATER WATER WATER!  Yesterday I killed it with the workouts.  I wasn't going to weigh today - not for a few days - but I'm a glutton for punishment and did anyway.  It wasn't bad!  Granted, I'm sure some of my weekend still needs to catch up with me, but I'll live.  Life happens.  There's always going to be something. There will always be a party, an occasion, a reason we slip...  I've learned that I cannot be so restrictive in what I'm doing that I ALWAYS say no.  It backfires for me.  I can't go full keto or give up all of any one thing.  If I do, and I slip - I will feel guilty and continue down that slippery slope.  I want to succeed.  I want to be a success story that someone in my position looks at and says "Wow, maybe I CAN do this..."  I want to be that person.  

June should be a calmer month for me.  We still have something almost every weekend but it shouldn't be too bad.  I will celebrate my birthday... I will enjoy the bridal shower and going away party... I will have a great time at game night... but none of those things will make me stop.  I may lose slower. It will take longer.  But it is the right way for me.  As much as I dread our workouts sometimes...I love them too. [most of them..lol]  Tonight I'm going to do Cardio Drumming and then come home and do our 80DO workout.  We've got this.  I've got a great partner and great friends. Lots of support.  I am blessed!

xoxo
Katie