The road twists and turns

It's true that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.  If my road to weight loss and health followed that path, I'd be looking soooooo good right now.  Instead, I tend to take the curvy, windy, roller-coaster path of a ride and keep things interesting.  

So I've stopped the VLCD.  It wound up being too much mentally with too little support -- not from my friends/family, but the program in general. While I need structure, I think I also need to be secluded away from everything except people doing exactly the same thing. haha  Okay, so that's not realistic, but I felt like I was missing out a lot and it just wasn't working mentally for me.  I do think I may do another week of supplements only (maybe add some veggies) but we'll see.  Otherwise I want to use them for breakfasts and lunches at least.  

Kinda feeling a little down in the dumps.  Just a lack of confidence in my ability to accomplish anything.  For years and years I've been trying to lose weight. I've never really succeeded.  When I start thinking about that too much, it's depressing.  All the failed attempts just seem to make the next try that much harder.  I need more confidence.  That's something I've lacked all my life though I think.  So I'm not sure where you get that... LOL  Is there an easy button or something?  Seriously, though, does anyone have tips or books for boosting confidence?  For other people, I know they're just like "Know you're beautiful, you can do anything, blah blah blah....." but HOW do you come to that realization?  How do you learn confidence? Not just with weight and appearance, but everything? 

I'm down to less than 2 months to Vegas.  I want to set the goal now to be down to 265.  It's a big goal --- about 26 lbs.......... but doable with where I am now.  I'm charging my fitbit as we speak.  I want to start getting my 10K steps in (which is a ton for me) and then I need to start doing the zumba game or a workout dvd or something at least a few nights a week.  I'm going to get back to logging and keeping things ~1200 cals a day... And I think I'll at least mostly cut out alcohol and regular pop. C'mon Katie - let's get back to thinking that drinking your calories is stupid.  One good thing is that I'm really pizza'd out.  

Short work week this week. That's nice!!! Sunday we'll be going to the lake so I'm super excited for that.  Hopefully the sun is shining and I can get a tan. My legs are so ghostly white.  Hope everyone has a good day! xoxo

--Katie

A little hiccup

Monday night my crankiness continued.  I wound up skipping one shake, but had a cheese stick, 2 slices of deli ham and a pickle.  It didn't satisfy me. lol  It wasn't the pizza I've been craving.  {{Oh - btw - I've moved up from just wanting a thin crust pizza to wanting a deep dish with cheese and pepperoni. LOL }}

A woman at work the other day - actually Monday - asked how my diet was going.  I said "eh, I'm cranky and hungry...just want some food" Her response was classic: "Well, can't you just eat less, or eat better??" Holy crap - never thought about that! There is the answer I've been looking for!!!!!!! hahaha  I just laughed and told her that if that worked for me, I'd be skinny already.  I was just like "Really!?" 

Yesterday I was perfect though.  5 packets. No extras. Still feel deprived, but oh well.  Just trying to stick with it.  I would love to lose more before Vegas, so I guess there's that!  Not gonna lie that I haven't been kinda down about this whole thing. There's some regret for signing up and a lot of disappointment in myself that I don't have the control to just "eat less, or better"  70 days til Vegas!  10 weeks.  A lot can be done in 10 weeks. In about another week I *should* be able to have some veggies.  Hopefully!! I'm down 12 lbs now.  I meet again with the dietician and dr on the 26th.  Hopefully I'll be close to 20 lbs down then.  

Time to turn my attitude around.  

-- Katie

1 week down

One week down, and 11.9 lbs gone.  I should be feeling good...great really....and really how I feel is cranky. I was sooo good for a few days and then the weekend came. That's where I felt deprived.  I stuck with it and the only cheat I had was a pickle yesterday because I was so hangry.... all I wanted (well it could've been anything really) but a thin crust pizza or grilled chicken or a piece of steak..... Yes.  Those things were on my mind.  I was soooooo cranky and really still am a little. But I did make it through a grad party and festival with only smelling the deliciously yummy food.  Gold star for me I suppose!

I meant to post this pic the other day, but i forogt....it's much more appropriate today anyhow!

I actually bought this shirt (which is a little too small) with the intention of modifying it LOL So we'll see if I get around to getting a fabric pen and being crafty. 

I feel bad because it's not fair to the people I'm around to be this way....they didn't sign up for this...I did. lol I know I didn't drink enough this weekend.....water that is *sigh* lol  And I did only have 4 packets a day because my schedules and time were all thrown off by everything we had going on.  

Don't get me wrong though, I am so happy about my feet and rest of me not being swollen any more! And being down almost 12 lbs definitely makes a difference.  I know I just need to stick with it.  I don't think the week will be too bad.  If the weather is nice and we do go camping this weekend though ---- that will be really hard.  So we'll see what happens.  

Just gotta keep thinking Vegas....Vegas.....72 more days..... In 2 weeks I should legally be allowed to have veggies....  It will get better...it will get better.... 

Hope everyone has a good week!

--Katie

Day 5 --- 10 lbs!!!

Starting out day 5..... I was going to try not to weigh until Monday, but who are we kidding.  I was pretty confident that I'd see 10 lbs lost today, and I did!!! It really hasn't been that hard.  Yesterday I thought I may have to add an extra shake to my day because I had one at 8, 10:30 and 12..... but my hunger calmed down and I was just able to have one at 3 and then soup around 6!  

Cooking Claire's dinner last night was torture. LOL  OMG, I cooked up a turkey burger for her and it smelled sooooo freakin good.  Annnnnnnnd she didn't eat it :( Sooooo sad.  But really that's been the only semi challenging part --- smelling food.  Whether it's people's lunches at work, or when I'm cooking dinner for Claire and/or Steve.  I know Steve would be fine to make his own food, but I figure I'll keep the "good wife" status and cook his along with Claire's most of the time ;) Gold stars for me!! haha!!

I have brought sugar free drinks back into my life......not like they were really gone.....maybe for a couple days. LOL  But at this point I'm not opposed to having a diet coke or some Mio in my water.  It helps me get through the days :) I'll need to start getting some walking in at least - if not some other light activity.  They want us to shoot for 40 min of light activity a day.  So my first week I wanted to really get my eating under control and then next week it's on :D 

I love seeing this line go down!  I'm .4 away from the lowest I was on WW (in week 9) Now, just to keep this up!!  

One thing I'm really trying to do is believe in myself. Not focus on all the failures I've had previously, but focus on the win I'm going to have.

I'm probably up to "Plan N" at least. ;) 

I know I'm only 5 days in, and there's a loooooong way to go......but I'm really hoping this attitude, confidence and strength stays with me.  Thanks to everyone who's been so supportive. Love you guys!!!

xoxox 

Katie

2 days in the books!

On to day 3.  Today I've got a slight headache and I'm tired, but other than that, doing well!  Yesterday my head killed....which I expected...I mean, it's just like a detox where you're getting rid of all the crap you've been ingesting and your body has to adjust.  You know I'm addicted to the scale and love love looooove when it's moving in the right direction.  This morning I'm down a total of 6.9 lbs.!  That is fantastic.  I'm very excited :) I'll face a challenge soon....we're going camping in a couple weeks.  That should be interesting.  I'm excited for a lot of sun and water ---- it better not rain! LOL 

So just a quick update - but I'm staying focused and not overly hungry. I can't wait til the hunger goes away (assuming it does like last time I did this!)  This weekend we've got a grad party and a festival, so that shouldn't be toooo hard.  Of course any time there's real food around it's going to be a challenge right now.  But yesterday I cooked up chicken for Steve and Claire and I survived :) 

I can do this..... I can do this!!!!!

--Katie

A new day, a new start!!

This weekend was my last hurrah - the final party of food / beverages for some time! I had never been one to drink my calories in the past -- especially in the form of alcohol, but I've done my fair share lately.  Buh-bye Moscoto.... *tear, sniffle* lol  Okay, I'm over it :) Kel - you can take over!!! 

This morning I met with the dietician who was super nice.  She had a great attitude and just a great demeanor.  I came in ready to start today and that's what I'm doing.  I bought two cases of shakes and then just two cartons or the soups to try since I'm not sure I'll love them.  More than enough to get me through to my next appointment in 3 weeks.  It was a LOT to carry to my car and i kinda thought I was going to die.  It wasai rning out and she said I could use this cart to wheel everything out since the boxes were kinda tall and akward, but I didnt' want to have to run the cart back in with the rain and whatnot.  Butttt I should've.  Oh well. I call it my first fitness challenge. lol  

So today is my before...... what I no longer want to see..... what I no longer want to be....

Today is a fresh start.... my first step in becoming a success story.... 

I want to be the person that others look to and say "Wow! She did it! I can do it too!" 

Today I say goodbye forever to 300.  

Here are some before shots.  I can't believe how round my face is!!!! 

Breaking up my goals as I think that will be best.  My first goal is 15%.  45 lbs.  I've put 45 stones in my "Pounds to go" jar and will be moving them over!!! I can't wait.  It's time!!!

Goodbye 300s.....goodbye 24s.....goodbye swollen feet....tiredness....pure exhaustion from simple things....Goodbye headaches...sore knees....lack of strengh....

--Katie

xoxo

Good morning all!

Wow - well it's been a while......yet again... umm... sorry! 

I've been doing poorly.  Ever since my trip to Buffalo I have been pretty much out of the WW tracking game.  You would think that would've just reinforced everything since Kelly is pretty amazing and committed and whatnot....and no, she didn't pay me to say that ;) I don't know what my deal is/was. I was actually able to get into the U of M program though.  

Last Friday, I met with the PA and went over the program.  Monday, I'm scheduled to meet with the dietician, get all my stuff and get started.  I've gone from super excited to nervous as hell.  I think because I quit this type of program once before, I'm scared.  But my friend is doing so well!!! I just need to keep my eye on the prize.  It's expensive, but my health is most important right??? I've been crazy disappointed in myself lately.  I'm back at my highest weight.  Simple things are tough. It's really sad.  But - I need to turn it around.  I do have to say that I'm soooo glad I wasn't just on shakes this past weekend.  After being in an accident and the stress of a rained out birthday party, all I wanted were carbs and a few drinks. LOL 

So I believe I'll be starting shakes on Tuesday.  It's going to be hard. But I've done it before and I can do it again, right?!!! 12 weeks would be Sept 1.  The first month, I'd go once a week and meet with a dietician and some weeks the dr. Then it will jump to once a month.  Supplements are so expensive, but I have to remind myself that I won't be buying groceries for myself.  They want to keep you on strict supplements until you lose 15% --- so that will be about 45 lbs.  This will be good --- especially if I can lose this prior to Vegas.  It should be close.  :)  I don't want to need a seat belt extender. I want to feel good about myself by the pool.  I want to be happy my progress! 

--Katie