Do you ever find that you reach a breaking point??  It's so hard for me to describe what happens when I get into my own head.  I should know by now that I cannot go into a cardio flow if I'm not 100% mentally there.  Yesterday morning we caught up on that missed workout from Saturday and I was already emotional.  I started off strong.  Did about 4 inch worms in a row, skipped one, did the last... felt good.. kept going.  But probably by the time we were just about done with the first round of all the exercises, I broke.  It just released all the emotions and I sobbed.  I think I'm just weird.  Like, I don't think that's normal...  But, it's me.  Anyhow, I tried to regain my composure....which only semi worked... but I did finish it.  

The weekend was great though -- Kelly & Laine came into town on Friday night!  That was amazing.  They are the best.  Our girls are pretty much the same person.  They are so damn cute together.  Saturday was great - we did our Tiny Lions party. Had so many adorable cats walking around and mingling during the party.  Tippy was the star of the show.  He was awesome!!

  

Sunday was our great big day at Great Lakes... Sealife, Legoland, and Rainforest.  Claire had an amazing time.  That made my day.  The girls all had so much fun.  

Yesterday, as I said before, we made up Cardio Flow.  Last night we also got in our regularly scheduled Booty Day.  So that was good.  Food consumption was not great by any means.  I had a few cupcakes, some cake, pasta salad, etc. over the weekend, but am committed to getting back at it today!  WATER WATER WATER!  Yesterday I killed it with the workouts.  I wasn't going to weigh today - not for a few days - but I'm a glutton for punishment and did anyway.  It wasn't bad!  Granted, I'm sure some of my weekend still needs to catch up with me, but I'll live.  Life happens.  There's always going to be something. There will always be a party, an occasion, a reason we slip...  I've learned that I cannot be so restrictive in what I'm doing that I ALWAYS say no.  It backfires for me.  I can't go full keto or give up all of any one thing.  If I do, and I slip - I will feel guilty and continue down that slippery slope.  I want to succeed.  I want to be a success story that someone in my position looks at and says "Wow, maybe I CAN do this..."  I want to be that person.  

June should be a calmer month for me.  We still have something almost every weekend but it shouldn't be too bad.  I will celebrate my birthday... I will enjoy the bridal shower and going away party... I will have a great time at game night... but none of those things will make me stop.  I may lose slower. It will take longer.  But it is the right way for me.  As much as I dread our workouts sometimes...I love them too. [most of them..lol]  Tonight I'm going to do Cardio Drumming and then come home and do our 80DO workout.  We've got this.  I've got a great partner and great friends. Lots of support.  I am blessed!

xoxo
Katie

Phase 1 is DONE

I am SO impressed with Steve and myself for truly commiting to this.  We have gone from sedentary to working out 6 days a week for over a month straight now.  I believed in Steve - I knew that he could do it - but I didn't really think that I would.  But I am!

Friday I just had a really off-feeling day.  I just felt kinda sick, kinda blah... so I chose to skip leg day and go to bed early.  It really was what I needed.  I think I just had to catch up on some sleep.  Saturday we went to Comic Con.  So much fun!  Saw a ton of cool stuff. Met Stephen Amell and Jerome Flynn!    Didn't eat amazingly, but we did a lot of walking and were on our feet all day.  Saturday was also the last day of phase 1.  Cardio Flow.  F'n Cardio Flow.  I may not have hit every move....but I did more than the week before.  AND - it didn't bring me to tears.  I didn't die and didn't cry.  Simply amazing.  So cardio flow is the only thing that doesn't change between phases...we just get to do more reps of each move. Oh yay!  

Yesterday I spent the day cleaning. I swear I was on my feet for almost the whole day.  I wound up with awful cramps, but I did my makeup leg day session!!  I used heavier weights, and I did it!  So again, no meal plan prepped for this week yet. UGH. I hate not having a plan, so I'll have to figure something out today.  This week is pretty low key, but the weekend will be insane.  I think I'll go to drumming on Tuesday, but still figuring that out.

My BFF and partner in crime is coming in on Friday!!  This will be the second of Claire's bdays she's attended ;) Lucky girl!  This weekend is the long awaited birthday weekend full of cats, fish and legos!  It'll be fun, and most importantly, I think Claire will have an amazing time.  I'm glad it's a long weekend and we have Monday off.  It will be a nice recoup day!  

So today all the moves are changing. The order of workouts is changing. It's a new day... a new phase. I'm nervous.  LOL  A friend was like "Phase 2 is the hardest IMO..." and I'm like, crap - phase 1 was HARD.  :)  We'll do it though.  Tonight is BOOTY day.  Let's see how this goes!!!

OH!  Okay, so the results from phase 1....  It's the time of the month where I'm pretty bloated so I'm not happy with my progress pics from day ZERO to the end of Phase 1, so I'm not going to share that.... but I am down 14.5 lbs.  As for measurements, I'm not confident on getting the measuring tape in the same spot, so I don't know how much I trust the numbers.  But I know I am doing well. I'm making progress and being healthier.  So I'm just going with that!   

I hope everyone has a fantastic day!

xoxo
Katie

Last week of Phase 1

It's hard to believe that we're on week 4 of the 80 Day Obsession.  Ultimately, I feel like Steve and I have been doing great.  We haven't missed a workout that we haven't made up.  That credit goes to Steve.....there's been one or two that I would've flat out skipped if I had been doing it myself.  He puts up with my cranky self --- and by cranky, I mean 'Holy shit, she's a bitch!' --- and pushes me to get it done.  Now, I am not going to lie and say that when I'm in that mood and finsih my workout I'm a whole new person full of rainbows, glitter and sunshine. No, I'm still pissed off. Still cranky.  But at least I did it.  That's only happened a couple times...and I feel bad about it, but it's me...it's real life...


We did have Chicago over the weekend and I didn't make good choices. I didn't intend to. I fully intended to eat pizza, eat everything at the brunch buffet, and not worry about 'healthy' only.  I ate too much. Drank regular pop. And did feel a bit gross after.  But it was good... I was obviously up on the scale yesterday, but back down a bit today.  I got everything in check and we even did the AWFUL Cardio Flow Sunday night. [Another one that I REALLY did not want to do]  Inchworms will be the death of me.  They are SO.HARD.  I made it pretty much through the first set of all the moves before I broke down.....still one move I haven't attempted because I don't get it and haven't stopped to teach myself it outside of the rush of the workout... I'll try to do that before Saturday.  

Yesterday I put together a meal plan for our week.  We're back on track.  I'm not having any peanut butter fudge that's here today either - WIN.  Staying on top of my water.  I've got this.

Life happens. There is always going to be something that comes up.  It's more about learning not to let one splurge, one weekend, be your downward spiral. I've done that too many times.  It's easy to do.  It's easy to say, "Well, it was all weekend, what's one more day?!"  But that one more turns into two... and three... and then you find yourself depressed with yourself and your choices and you just stop caring a bit. You avoid the scale because you know you've gained, but it doesn't stop you.. This has been my cycle.  I'm breaking it now though.  We've committed to exercise so that at least helps out.  

After this weekend we'll take measurements again and see the progress we've made so far.  With phase 2 comes new exercises I think. It'll be a nice change of pace....although if I'm remembering correctly, I believe the one I hate most - cardio flow - stays the same, just adds more reps.  FML!!!!  

Okay wonderful people - just wanted to give an update and make sure you knew I was still going strong(ish) :) 

xoxo

Katie

Who needs to move anyway...

      
I can barely move today I am so sore!!! The sides of my butt...my knees... ugh!!! But I'm feeling good.  Yesterday was my double workout day.  I went to Cardio Drumming and then did 80DO Booty Day!  First off, Drumming was the hardest class that I had been to so far!  These were different leaders from whom I've seen - and two of them, especially, were just so high energy and motivating.  I may have thought I was going to die, but I didn't.  So much squatting!!!!!!  One thing I really noticed yesterday was that I am modifying less and doing more!  For one of the moves, you squat bang on the bucket, jump up and hit the drumsticks in the air.... When I first started, there was no way that I would be jumping off the ground but yesterday I was doing it.  I started that a little last week, but I'm really getting it.  It's tough because I don't want to be too hard on my knees.  I push it a little much sometimes I think... But yeah, I definitely am doing more.. running in place, high knees, jumping up off the ground...just definitely getting more from my workouts.  

Really felt like I killed it all around yesterday!

  

     Today I'll most likely be skipping my workout and making it up tomorrow.  I'm going out with my Mom and highly looking forward to it!!  So tomorrow I'll try to make up this cardio before Steve gets home and then we'll do the AAA in the evening.  Not going to just skip it all together.

      Can I just vent for a sec.... So from a weekend of poor eating and lack of water, I am STILL up.   So you go from Saturday to Monday and are up almost 6 lbs.... Here we are on Wednesday - WEDNESDAY - and still up 2.5 lbs.  How the hell does one weekend do this to you?!  This is where it's frustrating.  Now I will say this - my body is changing.  So I'm not totally focused on the scale, but still, when you weigh as much as I do, you want to always see it moving....whether you're building muscle or what... c'mon!!!  Like I said, I am seeing changes.  I really can't wait to do progress pics and measurements at the end of this first phase. 

Alrighty guys...

Happy Wednesday!  Get it done!

xoxo

Katie

Holy Salt.....

Wow... so I knew I'd be up today, but I wanted to make sure I weighed jusssssst to make sure I got back on track today.  Up..up..up..... 5.8!!! Holy crap.  I wasn't even as bad as I would've been had I not been making these changes I've been making.  But I think salt is the main culprit.  That and not drinking enough water -- the challenge I usually face on the weekends.  ::sigh::

For whatever reason, it was an emotional weekend for me.  I don't know why, but it was.  On Saturday we managed to get Cardio Flow in before heading to our friend's house for game night.... It broke me down again.  I think it makes me feel weak...incapable...I hate it.  I broke down with an "I can't do it" and tried to hold back the tears as I pushed through it.  Of course when you're trying not to cry, it affects your workout.  It wasn't pretty.  It wasn't amazing. I felt defeated.  One of these days I will do one of those stupid Cardio Flow workouts and feel empowered after.  But as of now, I'm just dreading this Saturday before we head to Chicago.  It's not how I want to start my trip.  But oh well.  

People give me credit for being real and honest about my struggles.  I don't know how else to be.  I can't just keep everything to myself because, well, I'm pretty sure I'd explode. I know that other people go through the same thing (at least I tell myself that), so if I can make them see that they're not alone, I'm good with that.  I'm just in a bit of a funky place I think.  I'm happy we're working out...that I've seen the scale go down...that I feel overall better when I'm eating healthier and moving...I still miss "comfort food", chilling and watching a show with my hubby before bed, not being totally exhausted and sore/weak feeling before bed... We're 3 weeks in now... I know it'll get better, but just getting over whatever mental hurdle this is right now is slightly tough. 

Don't get me wrong... I'm still proud of myself.. we're still going to work out tonight.. I'll still do the stupid Cardio Flow this weekend... We're in this game and we're gonna complete it.  This weekend will be another off track weekend though.  We're going to Chicago and that is involving food. I know we'll be walking, but we'll have Claire's little legs that will determine how much.  So next Monday will be much like today -- loading up on water... kicking it in high gear.  

A big shout out to the people who keep me going... Steve, Kelly, Taylor (and all the folks in that group)... Thank you... Steve, especially you -- without you doing this side by side with me... without you spewing the motivational speak... without you making me cry, telling me I'm beautiful, strong, etc..... I would've quit.  You are the best partner in life I could ask for.  Just the perfect other half for me.

I suppose I do need to get some work down now... Just wanted to update you guys...

Hope everyone had a good weekend!  Thank you all - seriously - for the support.

xoxo
Katie

Today is Day 12...and Friday!

Good morning!! I hope everyone is doing great.  Things are going well on this end.  

Wednesday night I went to drumming and had a blast. It's amazing how that can totally change my mood.  I love it.  I went in cranky, and came out feeling good.  Followed that up with the Cardio Core Beachbody workout.  I do feel myself getting stronger every day, and I do see little physical changes too.  So just gotta keep going!!! Luckily I've got great support.  With BeachBody, yesterday was day 11 -- AAA.  Worked it all.  Still can't use the sliders, but as I strengthen my core, I'm sure I'll get there.  

I had ordered new resistance loops.  Got some 12 inch ones and it makes a difference!  I'll still have to play around with them to work on them not rolling, but these are definitely better for me!!  So I'm human, a girl here brought in this homemade "sopapilla cheesecake bars" -- I said no {for a minute} but then decided that I'd be better off having a small piece than dwelling on it and feeling deprived all day as everyone and their brother raves about it.  So I feel better. It was delicious and I will NOT let it spiral me out of control today.  We have game night tomorrow so it will be a little splurge.  I'll keep the rest of my day in check....get f'n Cardio Flow done early and I'll probably throw in some sort of workout on Sunday, just to help recoup.  

I can't wait to see some big changes.  I want cute clothes.  Preferably ones without a number and an X... lol  It is hard being patient, but I do know that I'm doing things the right way.  My fitness tracker has really come a long way. Before, I hardly ever completed all my rings.  Now, as long as I'm getting a workout in (another reason I'm thinking of doing one Sunday) I get them filled! 

I can't believe it's May already.  This year is flying by.  Soon it will be summer vacation.  This month will be so busy, but fun.  Before we know it, our vacation will be here too!! 111 days!! I am ready!! {okay, well my body may not be vacation ready...but my mind is!!} 

Hope everyone has a fantastic day.  

xoxo
Katie

It's a good sore..

Man oh man... I hurt!  But it's good!

Yesterday was Booty Day and I killed it!  3 reps of everything. It was hard. I was pouring sweat but it did feel good.  So, I'm a slave to the scale and I know I need to break that.  This morning I was up from Monday.  I'm sure it was probably residual from the popcorn I had over the weekend or something and not drinking enough water - but the scale is a hard habit to break.  I'm not going to take measurements until the end of Phase 1, but I know I'll still weigh.  In a way it's good because it does put you in check if you're straying from your plan; but if you're doing everything right and it's not going the right way, it's depressing. 

Don't worry, though, I'm not discouraged.  My soreness is an indicator that I am "doing great things." Sometimes all the motivational speak just irks me. haha

It's not like these are false.  And I used to be more positive.  I just need to regain that -- lose the negative vibes.  And maybe it's just that the people I hear saying them sound fake.  I dunno!  But I just need to regain the right energy and embrace these quotes and believe.   

Tonight I'll go to Cardio Drumming (YAY!) and then come home to do Cardio Core (boo...) LOL But it'll be good. I'm so proud of both Steve and myself for sticking with this.  I can't wait to see the results we have at the end of the program.  After this one, we'll have to find a new program to do together.  This is way easier than getting to the gym together.  I'm just not a gym girl either... I do "ok" once I'm there....but to convince myself to go... nah.  I would much rather build a home gym and be able to just do stuff like this.  Having some good equipment would be great too, I'd just rather do it at home.  

Welp, I think that's it for today.  Gonna work on staying more positive about all things today.  Those negative thoughts creep in and take over sometimes... and not just with diet or body image... but whatever starts it, it can snowball - and I'd prefer to think happy thoughts :D So I shall!

Have a great humpday!

xoxox

Katie