Wow... so I knew I'd be up today, but I wanted to make sure I weighed jusssssst to make sure I got back on track today. Up..up..up..... 5.8!!! Holy crap. I wasn't even as bad as I would've been had I not been making these changes I've been making. But I think salt is the main culprit. That and not drinking enough water -- the challenge I usually face on the weekends. ::sigh::
For whatever reason, it was an emotional weekend for me. I don't know why, but it was. On Saturday we managed to get Cardio Flow in before heading to our friend's house for game night.... It broke me down again. I think it makes me feel weak...incapable...I hate it. I broke down with an "I can't do it" and tried to hold back the tears as I pushed through it. Of course when you're trying not to cry, it affects your workout. It wasn't pretty. It wasn't amazing. I felt defeated. One of these days I will do one of those stupid Cardio Flow workouts and feel empowered after. But as of now, I'm just dreading this Saturday before we head to Chicago. It's not how I want to start my trip. But oh well.
People give me credit for being real and honest about my struggles. I don't know how else to be. I can't just keep everything to myself because, well, I'm pretty sure I'd explode. I know that other people go through the same thing (at least I tell myself that), so if I can make them see that they're not alone, I'm good with that. I'm just in a bit of a funky place I think. I'm happy we're working out...that I've seen the scale go down...that I feel overall better when I'm eating healthier and moving...I still miss "comfort food", chilling and watching a show with my hubby before bed, not being totally exhausted and sore/weak feeling before bed... We're 3 weeks in now... I know it'll get better, but just getting over whatever mental hurdle this is right now is slightly tough.
Don't get me wrong... I'm still proud of myself.. we're still going to work out tonight.. I'll still do the stupid Cardio Flow this weekend... We're in this game and we're gonna complete it. This weekend will be another off track weekend though. We're going to Chicago and that is involving food. I know we'll be walking, but we'll have Claire's little legs that will determine how much. So next Monday will be much like today -- loading up on water... kicking it in high gear.
A big shout out to the people who keep me going... Steve, Kelly, Taylor (and all the folks in that group)... Thank you... Steve, especially you -- without you doing this side by side with me... without you spewing the motivational speak... without you making me cry, telling me I'm beautiful, strong, etc..... I would've quit. You are the best partner in life I could ask for. Just the perfect other half for me.
I suppose I do need to get some work down now... Just wanted to update you guys...
Hope everyone had a good weekend! Thank you all - seriously - for the support.
xoxo
Katie
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