Prep Week: Day 1

So now I'm getting nervous LOL 

D.Tox sounds like a great idea until it's almost time to do it!!! I'm freaking out about being stuck waiting for the bathroom at work once I start the D.Tox shakes.  I just have no idea what to expect, but one review I read said "As soon as I finished my shake, I had to run to the bathroom..." Ugh, great!  This week is just prep.  Cutting out sugar, caffeine and alcohol.  Steve and I are really going to clean up our eating, though, too.  

Today for breakfast I had 2 hard boiled eggs and some cantaloupe.  Eggs won't be allowed next week, but I figured it'd make for a good breakfast this week.  We baked a ton of chicken yesterday and will use it throughout the week.  Lunch will be an awesome salad topped with fresh mushrooms, black olives and baked chicken.  Not quite positive on dinner yet, but it'll be good :)  I was up early this morning -- ate early, and now it's only 9:30 and I'm hungry. I'll probably have some fruit soon.  Tonight I have to remember to prep out other veggies -- peppers, celery, cucumbers and carrots.  I think a good snack will be celery and this almond butter I picked up.  

I really tried to be good about reading labels yesterday to make sure there was no added sugar.  That's gonna be the tough one.  We all know what has caffiene and alcohol in it, but they try to add sugar to everything!! Definitely helps to shop the perimeter of the store, but you still need to be careful.  

I plan to do some Zumba tonight too to get my sweat on.  Yesterday Steve and I had another training session at the gym.  It was good. I love our trainer. And hey, I didn't nearly pass out this time, so that was a huge plus :)   Man, when I lose 20 lbs again it will make everything SO much easier.  It's just ridiculous.  I try not to dwell too much on where I was, but damn.. it's hard.  But I will get there again, and then I'll go further. 

Alright - I'll keep this fairly short.  Hope everyone is having a great day. I am loving this fall weather.  I'd love to get a new wardrobe, but I'm going to have to wait until I make some progress on the scale :) 

--Katie

Hey guys!

Katie here!  ...Katie?  You know... me!  Me?.. the one always on a mission to lose weight?!  Oh yeah, now you remember ;) 

Yes - I'm still alive. I know, I know... it's been over a month since I posted last.  Went to Vegas. Had a great time. Didn't need a seatbelt extender, BUT that seat belt was maxed out.  Can't have that!  We did do a lot of walking which was good!!  I'm back and things are starting to calm down at home so I need to refocus.  Yes --- story of my life.  

Let's talk game plan...  So you may remember that Steve and I had over-excitedly stupidly bought LifeTime's DTox program.  You know me - always one to say "Hey, that sounds like a quick easy way!" BUT, I do think it will be good.  It had been a while since we bought it that I totally forgot that it was a 2 week program, and not just one week!  I literally just remembered.  Damn.  But seriously, trying to look at a calendar and find 3 weeks where you won't totally be miserable with previous plans that revolve around food, or being out and about is HARD.  So Monday will start our prep week.  Cutting back and then cutting out completely: CAFFEINE, SUGAR and ALCOHOL 

LOL -- So hopefully weaning myself off of those things will make DTox Week 1 not so bad when it starts on the 28th.  You start off with one dtox shake a day and 2-3 Dtox friendly meals.... whole foods. Fruits, Veggies, Lean Meats, nuts --- no dairy, no caffiene, no sugar, no alcohol, no eggs, no soy, no gluten, corn or peanuts. Week 2 you up the shakes to 2 a day and then 1-3 meals. Then you slowly reintroduce foods back into your diet.

All in all I think it will make me feel better.  Cleaner eating is probably the way to go.  Too much processed crap that we consume.  Eat crap = Feel like crap I can't wait to just feel better :) Losing weight will be a bonus which I'm pretty sure is guaranteed since I know how bad my habits are right now.  I haven't weighed myself since right after we got back.  I know it's not going to be good.  I know I fell into old habits and stress ate a bit too.  I also really need to get back to using the gym more than once a week.  It just stinks because I don't want to wake up early -- and once I'm home, I want to stay home.  That darn work thing just gets in the way! haha

I'll try to most more with this so you can all follow me in my misery --- which will hopefully turn to joy rather quickly. I know it'll be a tough start, but worth it.  

~Katie

 

What are obstacles?

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal" 

~Henry Ford

This quote was in a presentation at our meeting today at work and it's true.  Keep focused on that goal and you can accomplish it all!  I figured it'd be a good day for an update.  I haven't been to the gym lately but may try to go tonight depending on what we're doing. Monday and Tuesday I had started work at 5:30 a.m. , so there was no way I was gymming before that and I really wanted to go to bed relatively early too to do it all over again.  Since Monday, I'm down nearly 5 lbs since last Thursday. I was going to do all shakes this week, but I've done some shakes (mostly at work) and then made better decisions for everything else.  I haven't been drinking my calories or having junk food (we did have froyo last night, but that was basically my dinner) but I've steered clear of the candy jars here at work and the cupcakes from the vending machine...  I even was tempted to take a pop tart this morning, but I looked at it was 200 cals in ONE pop tart...not the package...ONE....and who eats one anyway?! It's packaged as TWO, you eat TWO.....but 400 cals...no thanks. 

Trying to keep this in my mind.  I struggle a lot with confidence.  And by struggle, I mean, I don't have any. I'm trying to keep a positive mind without placing a ton of presure on myself. I want to be strong and successful but I have to give myself a chance.  So I am at least moving in the right direction again.  We're all human. We all stumble and fall in different aspects of our lives.  My biggest obstacle is weight loss.  I am persistant though, and will continue fighting this challenge until I crush it.  I'm debating on signing up for the 90 day WL challenge from Life Time.  As long as you weigh out at the end, you get your money back as credits to use there, so it's not like you're losing anything.  Weigh in would be this weekend.  The greatest WL nationally gets $10K ---- but I read some of the winner's stories and they worked out for like 6 hrs/day and that's just not realistic for me.  But there are runner up prizes and plus, there's other incentives like little classes and extra stuff that you get for free, so that's pretty cool.  I'll prob sign up. What do I have to lose besides fat right?! 

Keeping it real as always -

     ~Katie

Gym-ed it up at 5 a.m.!

Goooooooooood morning.

I actually got up to my alarm and headed to the gym at 5 a.m. this morning.  It wasn't a long workout or anything, but it was something!  Did mostly cardio but some strength.  Timing worked out well for me to get home, shower and get ready for work.  When I start extending my workouts, I'll probably just get ready for work at the gym and come straight here.  But right now, I'm happy with myself as long as I get there 3x a week for SOME time. It doesn't have to be crazy. Something is always better than nothing!!!  It sucks getting up early, but at least it's done, out of the way and I can enjoy my evening tonight!!

Lunch will be a salad with some grilled chicken on top.  It'll be yummy.  Dinner - I'm even more looking forward to -- Ribs!  It doesn't matter what else we have with it, that's what I'm looking forward to.  lol

One thing I need to remember is to not let other people get you down.  Yesterday we went to Life Time for our Metabolic Testing.  When I was standing on the scale and it was taking all my measurements/stats, the trainer mumbled "ooooh boy" ... just like disgust almost.  Yes, I know I have a long way to go...no, I'm not a size 4 like you....yes, I am unhealthy, but if you don't have something postive to say, don't say anything. I'm here. I'm doing something about it.  That put me in a funk for part of the day.  

I feel on track today.  I'm feeling good.  A bit tired, but I'll live.  ツ

Hope everyone has a great Monday -- make it your day!

💕 Katie 💕

Haven't made much progress

...since the last time I posted.  The struggle is real....and continues... haha  

Steve and I joined Lifetime Fitness though.  Hoping that we get out butts out more and get some good workouts in!  We went last night and I'm feeling it today --- and that's great!! Tonight's a busy night with lawn/house work and taking C to swim.  Tomorrow we've got a Move It Session which I think they kinda meet with you and evaluate where you are, what your goal are, and come up with a game plan.  At least I hope that's what it is.  It'll be my first taste of kinda what personal training is like. I'm always so intimidated by new things.  Eventually I want to try a class out. Just got to get over the fear of being the "new girl" who is WAY out of shape.  I was happy that when I went last night it wasn't just all "pretty people"  --- I've heard that's what Lifetime was, so I was nervous about REALLY standing out. But there were all sorts of people and everyone really kept to themselves and did their own thing so that was cool.  

They've got a lot to offer there for all of us, even C.  This weekend I know we're gonna go as a family. Steve and I will get a workout in and then we can have some family time at the pool. That'll be a lot of fun.  So we're now down to 36 days til Vegas.  Yikes.  I don't know how I'm going to do before then, but I'll give it my best.  

Hope everyone is doing well ♥♥

💕Katie💕

50 Days to Vegas!

Here we go --- getting close!

So, because I like to doodle and create: a countdown chart with some goals!

50 days to lose 26 lbs!  Doable! Let's just do it!! I'd like to lose more of course, but I'm trying to be realistic.  I'm logging -- going to stay under 1300 cals per day, no fast food and get at least 30 min of exercise or 10K steps in each day.  I was going to say no booze or pop but I'm just leaving it up to me to stay within the cal limits! Figure that's good enough :) 

No fast food shouldn't be hard!  I'm going to try to use up some supplements and shakes that I've spent money on for breakfasts and lunches.  I've only got a TON... lol Between VLCD shakes, puddings, Nutrisystem shelf stable foods..... Geez-o-peets!  Started today off with a half a banana and a sugar free rockstar. Took my vitamins and have logged in MFP.  Gotta get back to tons of water too.  It doesn't taste so good lately lol  I need to get some more Mio. 

Even though my eating hasn't quite been on par, I've been doing okay! I'm still under where I started VLCD 2.0 but I have put some of it back on. I know part of it is not drinking enough water, and drinking other calories.  For some reason, those yummy wine coolers have calories in them.. damn..  eek just looked.  150-225 each.  Ummm.... Only had about 4 on Saturday.  Yeahhh... definitely logging for these 50 days. 

Okay, that's about all I've got right now! Hope everyone has a good Tuesday. 


<3 Katie <3

The road twists and turns

It's true that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.  If my road to weight loss and health followed that path, I'd be looking soooooo good right now.  Instead, I tend to take the curvy, windy, roller-coaster path of a ride and keep things interesting.  

So I've stopped the VLCD.  It wound up being too much mentally with too little support -- not from my friends/family, but the program in general. While I need structure, I think I also need to be secluded away from everything except people doing exactly the same thing. haha  Okay, so that's not realistic, but I felt like I was missing out a lot and it just wasn't working mentally for me.  I do think I may do another week of supplements only (maybe add some veggies) but we'll see.  Otherwise I want to use them for breakfasts and lunches at least.  

Kinda feeling a little down in the dumps.  Just a lack of confidence in my ability to accomplish anything.  For years and years I've been trying to lose weight. I've never really succeeded.  When I start thinking about that too much, it's depressing.  All the failed attempts just seem to make the next try that much harder.  I need more confidence.  That's something I've lacked all my life though I think.  So I'm not sure where you get that... LOL  Is there an easy button or something?  Seriously, though, does anyone have tips or books for boosting confidence?  For other people, I know they're just like "Know you're beautiful, you can do anything, blah blah blah....." but HOW do you come to that realization?  How do you learn confidence? Not just with weight and appearance, but everything? 

I'm down to less than 2 months to Vegas.  I want to set the goal now to be down to 265.  It's a big goal --- about 26 lbs.......... but doable with where I am now.  I'm charging my fitbit as we speak.  I want to start getting my 10K steps in (which is a ton for me) and then I need to start doing the zumba game or a workout dvd or something at least a few nights a week.  I'm going to get back to logging and keeping things ~1200 cals a day... And I think I'll at least mostly cut out alcohol and regular pop. C'mon Katie - let's get back to thinking that drinking your calories is stupid.  One good thing is that I'm really pizza'd out.  

Short work week this week. That's nice!!! Sunday we'll be going to the lake so I'm super excited for that.  Hopefully the sun is shining and I can get a tan. My legs are so ghostly white.  Hope everyone has a good day! xoxo

--Katie

A little hiccup

Monday night my crankiness continued.  I wound up skipping one shake, but had a cheese stick, 2 slices of deli ham and a pickle.  It didn't satisfy me. lol  It wasn't the pizza I've been craving.  {{Oh - btw - I've moved up from just wanting a thin crust pizza to wanting a deep dish with cheese and pepperoni. LOL }}

A woman at work the other day - actually Monday - asked how my diet was going.  I said "eh, I'm cranky and hungry...just want some food" Her response was classic: "Well, can't you just eat less, or eat better??" Holy crap - never thought about that! There is the answer I've been looking for!!!!!!! hahaha  I just laughed and told her that if that worked for me, I'd be skinny already.  I was just like "Really!?" 

Yesterday I was perfect though.  5 packets. No extras. Still feel deprived, but oh well.  Just trying to stick with it.  I would love to lose more before Vegas, so I guess there's that!  Not gonna lie that I haven't been kinda down about this whole thing. There's some regret for signing up and a lot of disappointment in myself that I don't have the control to just "eat less, or better"  70 days til Vegas!  10 weeks.  A lot can be done in 10 weeks. In about another week I *should* be able to have some veggies.  Hopefully!! I'm down 12 lbs now.  I meet again with the dietician and dr on the 26th.  Hopefully I'll be close to 20 lbs down then.  

Time to turn my attitude around.  

-- Katie

1 week down

One week down, and 11.9 lbs gone.  I should be feeling good...great really....and really how I feel is cranky. I was sooo good for a few days and then the weekend came. That's where I felt deprived.  I stuck with it and the only cheat I had was a pickle yesterday because I was so hangry.... all I wanted (well it could've been anything really) but a thin crust pizza or grilled chicken or a piece of steak..... Yes.  Those things were on my mind.  I was soooooo cranky and really still am a little. But I did make it through a grad party and festival with only smelling the deliciously yummy food.  Gold star for me I suppose!

I meant to post this pic the other day, but i forogt....it's much more appropriate today anyhow!

I actually bought this shirt (which is a little too small) with the intention of modifying it LOL So we'll see if I get around to getting a fabric pen and being crafty. 

I feel bad because it's not fair to the people I'm around to be this way....they didn't sign up for this...I did. lol I know I didn't drink enough this weekend.....water that is *sigh* lol  And I did only have 4 packets a day because my schedules and time were all thrown off by everything we had going on.  

Don't get me wrong though, I am so happy about my feet and rest of me not being swollen any more! And being down almost 12 lbs definitely makes a difference.  I know I just need to stick with it.  I don't think the week will be too bad.  If the weather is nice and we do go camping this weekend though ---- that will be really hard.  So we'll see what happens.  

Just gotta keep thinking Vegas....Vegas.....72 more days..... In 2 weeks I should legally be allowed to have veggies....  It will get better...it will get better.... 

Hope everyone has a good week!

--Katie

Day 5 --- 10 lbs!!!

Starting out day 5..... I was going to try not to weigh until Monday, but who are we kidding.  I was pretty confident that I'd see 10 lbs lost today, and I did!!! It really hasn't been that hard.  Yesterday I thought I may have to add an extra shake to my day because I had one at 8, 10:30 and 12..... but my hunger calmed down and I was just able to have one at 3 and then soup around 6!  

Cooking Claire's dinner last night was torture. LOL  OMG, I cooked up a turkey burger for her and it smelled sooooo freakin good.  Annnnnnnnd she didn't eat it :( Sooooo sad.  But really that's been the only semi challenging part --- smelling food.  Whether it's people's lunches at work, or when I'm cooking dinner for Claire and/or Steve.  I know Steve would be fine to make his own food, but I figure I'll keep the "good wife" status and cook his along with Claire's most of the time ;) Gold stars for me!! haha!!

I have brought sugar free drinks back into my life......not like they were really gone.....maybe for a couple days. LOL  But at this point I'm not opposed to having a diet coke or some Mio in my water.  It helps me get through the days :) I'll need to start getting some walking in at least - if not some other light activity.  They want us to shoot for 40 min of light activity a day.  So my first week I wanted to really get my eating under control and then next week it's on :D 

I love seeing this line go down!  I'm .4 away from the lowest I was on WW (in week 9) Now, just to keep this up!!  

One thing I'm really trying to do is believe in myself. Not focus on all the failures I've had previously, but focus on the win I'm going to have.

I'm probably up to "Plan N" at least. ;) 

I know I'm only 5 days in, and there's a loooooong way to go......but I'm really hoping this attitude, confidence and strength stays with me.  Thanks to everyone who's been so supportive. Love you guys!!!

xoxox 

Katie

2 days in the books!

On to day 3.  Today I've got a slight headache and I'm tired, but other than that, doing well!  Yesterday my head killed....which I expected...I mean, it's just like a detox where you're getting rid of all the crap you've been ingesting and your body has to adjust.  You know I'm addicted to the scale and love love looooove when it's moving in the right direction.  This morning I'm down a total of 6.9 lbs.!  That is fantastic.  I'm very excited :) I'll face a challenge soon....we're going camping in a couple weeks.  That should be interesting.  I'm excited for a lot of sun and water ---- it better not rain! LOL 

So just a quick update - but I'm staying focused and not overly hungry. I can't wait til the hunger goes away (assuming it does like last time I did this!)  This weekend we've got a grad party and a festival, so that shouldn't be toooo hard.  Of course any time there's real food around it's going to be a challenge right now.  But yesterday I cooked up chicken for Steve and Claire and I survived :) 

I can do this..... I can do this!!!!!

--Katie

A new day, a new start!!

This weekend was my last hurrah - the final party of food / beverages for some time! I had never been one to drink my calories in the past -- especially in the form of alcohol, but I've done my fair share lately.  Buh-bye Moscoto.... *tear, sniffle* lol  Okay, I'm over it :) Kel - you can take over!!! 

This morning I met with the dietician who was super nice.  She had a great attitude and just a great demeanor.  I came in ready to start today and that's what I'm doing.  I bought two cases of shakes and then just two cartons or the soups to try since I'm not sure I'll love them.  More than enough to get me through to my next appointment in 3 weeks.  It was a LOT to carry to my car and i kinda thought I was going to die.  It wasai rning out and she said I could use this cart to wheel everything out since the boxes were kinda tall and akward, but I didnt' want to have to run the cart back in with the rain and whatnot.  Butttt I should've.  Oh well. I call it my first fitness challenge. lol  

So today is my before...... what I no longer want to see..... what I no longer want to be....

Today is a fresh start.... my first step in becoming a success story.... 

I want to be the person that others look to and say "Wow! She did it! I can do it too!" 

Today I say goodbye forever to 300.  

Here are some before shots.  I can't believe how round my face is!!!! 

Breaking up my goals as I think that will be best.  My first goal is 15%.  45 lbs.  I've put 45 stones in my "Pounds to go" jar and will be moving them over!!! I can't wait.  It's time!!!

Goodbye 300s.....goodbye 24s.....goodbye swollen feet....tiredness....pure exhaustion from simple things....Goodbye headaches...sore knees....lack of strengh....

--Katie

xoxo

Good morning all!

Wow - well it's been a while......yet again... umm... sorry! 

I've been doing poorly.  Ever since my trip to Buffalo I have been pretty much out of the WW tracking game.  You would think that would've just reinforced everything since Kelly is pretty amazing and committed and whatnot....and no, she didn't pay me to say that ;) I don't know what my deal is/was. I was actually able to get into the U of M program though.  

Last Friday, I met with the PA and went over the program.  Monday, I'm scheduled to meet with the dietician, get all my stuff and get started.  I've gone from super excited to nervous as hell.  I think because I quit this type of program once before, I'm scared.  But my friend is doing so well!!! I just need to keep my eye on the prize.  It's expensive, but my health is most important right??? I've been crazy disappointed in myself lately.  I'm back at my highest weight.  Simple things are tough. It's really sad.  But - I need to turn it around.  I do have to say that I'm soooo glad I wasn't just on shakes this past weekend.  After being in an accident and the stress of a rained out birthday party, all I wanted were carbs and a few drinks. LOL 

So I believe I'll be starting shakes on Tuesday.  It's going to be hard. But I've done it before and I can do it again, right?!!! 12 weeks would be Sept 1.  The first month, I'd go once a week and meet with a dietician and some weeks the dr. Then it will jump to once a month.  Supplements are so expensive, but I have to remind myself that I won't be buying groceries for myself.  They want to keep you on strict supplements until you lose 15% --- so that will be about 45 lbs.  This will be good --- especially if I can lose this prior to Vegas.  It should be close.  :)  I don't want to need a seat belt extender. I want to feel good about myself by the pool.  I want to be happy my progress! 

--Katie

Been A While

Good morning friends...

So I have been a crazy, horrible, slacker...errr, I guess I've been a GREAT slacker....blah.  I have been so bad about tracking ever since I had gone to Buffalo.  I just haven't been able to get excited about it again.  I don't know what the deal is.  I know I had gotten bummed about the U of M study I was initially invited to.  I wasn't going to sign up for it because I know I had failed at the VLCD before and I know S wasn't crazy about the diet because it's not sustainable, but then I found out that a friend was going to doing it.  That got me all excited about it again -- BUT I missed my opportunity.  When I called, they said that the invitation had expired and they weren't taking anyone new.  So that was a big bummer for me.  I just know that its a hard program and I thought it would be awesome for both me and my friend to have each other to go through it with.  My insurance is still supposedly looking into whether they'd be able to get me a new invite or not but in the mean time, I need to snap out of this.

So I'm going to make sure that I log everything today.  I did weigh in last Thursday and was up a lot.  It was not my normal weigh in place and I had jeans on but STILL thats no excuse.  Saturday we have a funeral but I should still be able to make a normal meeting in the morning.  I need it lol 

It was a good weekend though. (Not eating/drinking wise.....) Saturday night we had a really nice fire and drinks! I got to spend Mother's Day with my wonderful mom and mother-in-law! And called my other two moms. lol  So it was all good! I am really blessed to have an amazing husband and daughter :) 

Just wanted to give an update - even if it's not the best and brightest!

--Katie

Whoohoo!

Well I didn't post an update over the weekend, but I did weigh in on Saturday morning.... DOWN 5.5 LBS!!! I made up for the 3.7 gain over Easter and then some! That felt good great.  I am ALMOST to a 10 lb loss. I should see that this week. I'm going to try to go Thursday morning to the WW by my work again.  So we'll see.  My weekend was a little off again, but not too bad. And I did log in my food.

I am ON IT today though. Started my morning off with a green juice (kale, banana, strawberries and raspberries), a Monster, and then a 1/2 cup of FF cottage cheese.  I'm feeling good.  I've got a Lean Cuisine for lunch - dinner will be some chicken and zuchinni. 

Today my new jamberry nail wraps should be waiting for me when I get home - I'm excited to put those on.  My goal is to finish more laundry tonight.  LOL Big goals huh?  

Shout out to Kelly: She hasn't posted a blog for a bit....but she's doing great guys!! Her drive is inspiring! 

Here are some Plus's that I had this weekend:

• Did NOT get Taco Bell -- I actively decided that stopping would've just been because I wanted it, not because I was hungry.
• Did NOT order gnocchi with alfredo when we went out to eat.....not all my doing, but it worked out :) 
• Ordered a diet coke at a restaurant and stopped drinking after a sip because I swear it was regular
• Did NOT get Dairy Queen last night and wasn't sad about it!

So Steve and I are going to Vegas in August.  We both have some goals to get to before then!  128 days to go....so 18 weeks....I want to be back down to 260 by then.  Totally doable. Under 2 lbs a week would get me there.  Yesterday I picked up more Kale and Lemons since my green juices and lemon water really seemed to help me last week.  I also bought a pineapple and cut up some watermelon.  LET'S DO THIS!!!

-- Katie 

We are ALMOST to Friday!

Phew, it seems like it's been a long week...  but, it's almost the weekend!  

So confession time.  Up until last night I honestly wasn't planning on weighing this week.  I felt like with me being up last week, and not tracking/making good choices Friday through Monday, that I was just going to be to depressed about the likely gain that I wouldn't even go and that I'd just keep on following the program and hit up a meeting hopefully next week before I went to Buffalo.  But last night as I was giving Claire a bath, I stepped on the scale.  Being in sweatpants and a tank top and it being 7 p.m. I expected to see close to 300 again/still.  But it wasn't!  It was pretty much what I weighed at my weigh in last Friday.

So that was inspirational.  Tuesday and Wednesday were great on-plan days for me!  I've been drinking lots of water - yesterday added a lot of lemon to it - and I've been staying within my points.  So needless to say, I'll be going to my meeting on Saturday morning :) I feel like I'm back on track. So fingers crossed!!!

I saw this yesterday on Facebook and liked it, so I thought I'd share:

We can't let our body or body type define us.  We need to be who we want to be and realize that the outside appearance doesn't matter.  I do want to keep my curves....just maybe not sooo many of them ;) I've got my goals, soooo many goals..... and I'm determined to get there.  It will take a long time....I've accepted that.... but I need to keep moving forward.  I can't get hung up on whether I'm pretty, hot, gorgeous, a "real woman" in any one else's eyes.  I'm still working on not comparing myself to others. It's hard. It's all a journey - and I'll get there :) I do have to say, that I do love the celebrities who are using their spotlight as an outlet to show everyone that "imperfections" don't make a person less talented, beautiful and real.  Whether it's their weight, stretch marks, rolls, etc. they're doing their part to try to relay to society that there's more to being a "real woman".  

Take it easy - and keep going!

Katie

Keepin it Real

As I tend to do, I've been struggling again.  Friday-yesterday were bascially a free for all - not all days were horrible, but I wasn't good about tracking..... not proud, but I can't lie about it.  Today I'm on it though.  

I did weigh on Friday and was up 3.7.  So I'm obviously not off to a good start this week either.  But today I'm in the zone.  Started my day with a green juice (kale, kiwi, carrots, banana and frozen berries).  WW said if you don't chew it (if it's a juice, or smoothie) it's automatically points......but I'm not to the point where I'm buying that yet. LOL  For me, that's still a zero point meal since I blended all fresh ingredients.  Just glad I'm getting the fruits and veggies in.  

Lunch is gonna be this awesome salad, with some Morningstar quinoa patties and Bolthouse's new avocado cilantro dressing! I'm looking forward to it. I chopped all the veggies up this morning!!  Dinner will be organic chicken breast and either steamed or roasted green beans!  Right now as everything is logged as it is, I have 27 points left.  I honestly am trying to leave points today but I won't beat myself up if I use all my daily points either.  Just no extra points. I've used more than enough without logging. lol 

About a week and a half and I head to Buffalo - exciting stuff!  

That's really all I got today... no great successes...the normal struggles.. and me in a semi-decent mind set ;) 

--Katie

It's been a day!

So I was going to blog, and then I wasnt, and then here I am again... Thanks Cambria :) 

First off, let's recap the weekend. I went to a WW meeting on Friday since I had the day off and was down 2 lbs. *hooray* That put me at an 8 lb total weight loss and brought me down to 291.8.  I was hoping for a 2 lb weight loss this week, but I don't see that happening --- annnd I'm not sure if I'm going to make a meeting and weigh in.  I think I'll try to go Thursday evening to a meeting, but I don't think I'll weigh in because I know it would be totally different than my morning weigh ins.  So Friday - Monday were not great days for me.  Looking back, I didn't really track much of anything those days.  Easter was a free for all.  Yesterday I started off good but then fell into chocolate and Mexican food....well not literally, but you get the point.

So today I've been in a funk.  I've just been down on myself - appearance, the number on the scale, my slow loss with WW, etc. I'm not going to dwell on it, because I've already talked it out some with friends and am feeling a bit better.  

It's a long, daunting road.  It really is.  When I can finally overcome the mental aspect of this I know that I will be so much better.  It's just hard.  I just need something to click in my brain.  I'll keep plugging along until then :) I really should be losing more than I am -- and I know it's because I'm not 100% in the program...... 5 out of 7 days a week doesn't cut it.  I have to be better. I have to.  There's no {good} reason that I should be basically losing a pound a week.  

People comment on my persistance and I wish they didn't have to. LOL I wish that I moved in a relatively steady downward direction on my weight tracker and I didn't have huge spikes that I have to redeem myself from.  I don't want to have to constantly be "restarting" and recommitting.  It's exhausting!  It really is draining.  It takes a huge toll on the confidence I do have... 

Okay --- edit to above --- I think I may leave work to weigh in on Friday morning. It's not as close as I'd like it to be and I wouldn't be able to stay for the meeting, but at least I can be accountable for my week. I always forget you can go to different locations. 

Welp, just had a clementine and only an hour left of work. I'll leave my update as is. Sorry it's not the cheeriest but it would've been a lot worse earlier.  Thank goodness for May Mommas! haha 

<3 Katie

Because I know you're all dying to know...

....yes! I lost! I lost 2.5 lbs this week! It doesn't totally redeem myself from my gain last week - but I will this week!!!! 

So a total of 6 lbs down so far....not bad!!! I'm so used to the fads that drop the lbs fast.......it's hard to see that I haven't lost 10 lbs yet....not gonna lie!  But I know this is the better way! 

I'm sure I'll update again on Monday -- wish me luck this weekend to make good choices :) 

--Katie

Happy Friday!!!

Great weigh in this morning! Down 1.2lbs for a total of 5.4lbs in the last 5 weeks. Slow and steady. It's easier said than done. I want to see huge losses. I want 5lb weeks, but I know with nursing, it's just not going to happen. So slow and steady it is! I've been using most of my weekly points on the weekend, and then staying within daily allowance all week. It works because I feel im splurging on the weekend but ready to refocus once monday is here! So I think I'll stick with that strategy for awhile :-) 

Feel like I'm cheating..

And maybe I am....

Ugh - it's been another semi rough week. At least I've mostly tracked!  But I still wasn't feeling confident for tomorrow's weigh in.  I need a reset and to see a loss tomorrow.  So, i'm turning to fruit day.  Day one of the sevendaysinhell ---errrr 7 day diet...The beginnings of mine and Kel's journey together LOL  BUT, I'm only doing fruit day. It's just to help me reset today, have a decent weigh in tomorrow and then try again to have an honestly successful WW week.

And I mean, technically I'm supposed to eat a lot of fruit with WW......sooooo i'm just skipping a few points... lol

But, I just ate a bowl of watermelon.  I have cuties, apples, raspberries, pineapple, melon and grapes.  I did pick up a progresso light veggie soup if I need it.  I've been scouring the blog and fb to try to find out how my previous fruit days have gone and I can't find anything!!!! I think only Kelly had done 7 day since we started this blog.  And FB isn't the most searchable.  Sooooo I'm hopeful that this is a good thing.  (Edit: One discouragine thing is that I did see Kelly's recap after her last fruit day and she didn't lose a lb....waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh)

Gonna have an activity/fitness challenge starting with some of the MayMoms starting on Sunday.  It'll be 4 or 6 weeks so that'll be great!  I need something to force me to get SOME activity in!!! I really need to see if my fitbit is working.  Steve will be getting a pedometer soon so we can do some of our own challenges too!!!  Soooo I get to have a Textie reunion next month.  Ms. Kelly told me I need to lose 8 lbs by then. {she's so strict}  So many challenges for me to accomplish :) Totally doable and I hope I do!!

Lots going on - lots to focus on - lots to do.  I just really need to start making a positive difference in my body.  I wanna feel good about myself and lose my belly....well butt, thighs, etc too. hahaha

-- Katie

Each day is a new chance to get it right

If you know me...or have read any of my previous entries....you know I struggle - pretty much constantly.  I have spent so many years letting food control me that it's hard to change.  Too many times over the years I've jumped on the quick fix train.  The promises, guarantees, sworn testimony that for "Only $XXX.xx you can lose 10 lbs in 10 days", "If you eat fruit one day, veggies the next, bananas and skim milk the next, only tomatoes and chicken the next........ and so on - you will lose!!!"  "If you take these pills, with this shake 3x a day you will be lose the weight so fast"  I'm so glad that it works for some people, but for me, all I've found is that {for me} it is wasted money, another dig at my self esteem, and more lbs that pile on afterwards. Don't get me wrong... I LOVE success stories!  I absolutely love reading reviews, seeing before and after pics, reading life changing stories --- but nothing I've tried previously has ever done anything for me mentally.  I still have the same mentality about food, I just, during those times of dieting, withold things that I want. I don't ever forget about taco bell, pizza, or my creamer with a splash of coffee.......and when I've done those "quick fixes" - I find that sure I'll hold back for a week, a month, maybe even 3 months like with the VLCD.......but then I'll stop and I'll go CRAZYOVERBOARD with those things I loved and missed.  That's how you go from 250 to 300 in a matter of months.

I'm probably rambling, but this is why I think that WW is going to be my ultimate success tool.  Will it take a while? Yes!  {A May Mommy shared her WW success of 65 lbs in a year! Woot!}  In my eyes, I failed last week. I let it ALLLLL go, alllll week long and I gained.  Does that surprise me? No.  Is it embarrassing - yes. But it happens.  This is all learning for me.  It's been a month - I could've been better.  But I'm learning. My weekend still wasn't amazing but yesterday was a totally logged day and I'm on my way for that today too.  My weekly points may be dwindling, but if I'm going to use them, I'd rather have them used in the beginning of the week anyway.

I haven't stepped on my home scale to get a
 feel for how I'm doing. Honestly, I'm still nervous.  I just need to use those nerves to keep me in check.  Today I have been on it.  I'm really doing good.  Only fruit for snacks and it's almost lunch time :) 
I hope everyone has a great day!!  

--Katie

P.S. Is it summer yet?!!!

Faced the music...

...and it wasn't pretty!!

After a week of being sick, not logging and not caring, the scale put me in my place. I was up 3.6 lbs this week! An embarrassing story because I like to overshare.... Yesterday I decided I would go to panera for a bagel and cream cheese. After I ordered that, I though ahhhh throw in a bear claw....oh yeah, sure I need something to drink so why not a frozen caramel. I had no intention of logging yesterday but when I did I was shocked! That trip to panera was my WHOLE DAYS WORTH OF POINTS!!!! 44 points without even thinking! Uhhhh lesson learned though. 

So today I am back on track. Still not feeling 100% but I'll get there. I'm following my points this week! No 44 pt meals! No absolute craziness. I'm going to be accountable and definitely see a loss next week. I'm shooting for 5 lbs.

The leader today had on the board "Failure is the key to success. Each mistake teaches us something." She said that to her, it was incomplete though. She added "if we are willing to learn from it."  That is 100% true. And 100% relevant to me especially this week. Thank you to Kelly and my May Moms who pushed me to go to my meeting today. I definitely needed it and it wound up being the perfect topic. I shared about my week and got teary eyed...but it felt good being honest about what I was feeling. 

Send me responsible eating vibes :) 

Xoxo

Katie

Miracles I tell you...

I totally thought I'd be up at least a pound. I should've been up. But miracles happen I guess! I'm glad I went to weigh in this morning because I did have another loss! If I keep it together this week maybe I'll see 10 lbs next week! 

We shall see!! 

So I'm still feeling awful. Sneezing, coughing, drained, just feel pitiful. 

Hoping this goes away soon!! The weather is warming up and I want to take advantage of it!!!  

Just wanted to post a quick update! 

Xoxox

Katie

ughhhhhhhhhhhh

Man - just when the weather starts getting nice, I start feeling like poo! 

Wednesday I ended up leaving work early and getting some rest -- just hoping that I would miraculously end up feeling better.  No such luck.  Since then I've just been hacking away.....trying to figure out whether to hold my chest, my head or cross my legs when I cough.  It's typically a combination of at least 2 of those.  

With feeling like crap, comes comfort eating.  You don't want to cook, put forth any effort, or eat your veggies....  So with that, I'm worried about the scale tomorrow.  I tossed around the idea of going to my meeting, but not weighing but I figure that won't really help anything.  So I'll weigh and again hope to maintain from last week.  We're not going out to dinner tonight - so I won't have to make the tough decisions on what to get or not get from the yummy Italian place.  I also canceled game night tomorrow so I don't think I'll bust into weekly points on day 1 like I normally do on Saturday.  lol 

I did great yesterday and I'll have another great day today.  I weighed on my home scale today and I *think* I'll be okay tomorrow.  I know this isn't an overnight thing, and it's not a quick fix.  I'm retraining my whole self.  I eventually need to figure out how to not comfort eat the bad foods - or at least not as many.  I'll get there - I'm sure I will.  

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

--Katie

Struggling

Ughhhhhhhhh - this week I am really struggling.  This shouldn't be hard. It's really not.  There's so much flexibility with WW but all I want is junk...lots of junk... 

Monday was such a crappy day at work.  From dealing with the unemployment agency about our shut down around Christmas, to a co-worker who makes me insane....it just ruined the awesome mindset I started with. And so I've just been blah about work today which just makes me want to stuff my face :( Sooo we can safely say that I'm out of weekly points and it's only Wednesday.  I already don't want to weigh in on Saturday.  

So I need to work on figuring out work - that's where my biggest struggles start.  I should really just start wearing my headphones and listening to music all day.  I'm really going to have to focus today, tomorrow and Friday.  I don't want a gain.  I'd be so embarrassed.  Uggggggghhhhh  Doesn't help that I feel like I'm coming down with a cold or something too. 

I'm planning on a big salad for dinner tonight!  I think that'll be good.  Gotta really keep up on the water today too. 

Uggggghhhhhhhhh.....that's all I got. :(  

--Katie